Unreciprocated Compliments

[Looloolo]

I’m dating this guy and he has severe anxiety and I feel like I’m reassuring him a lot.

We have had sex a few times and he has struggled to maintain his erection.

I’ve been kind about it, we have a great time in the run up to it, but he asked for some reassurance about how he’s doing.

I told him that he gives me more pleasure than anyone else has before sex (not a lie) which he didn’t acknowledge.

I tried to take some of the responsibility upon myself too and said that I’m self conscious about my mum bod and am probably contributing to sex flatlining.

All he said was that hopefully I can tell he’s having fun and that everyone is self conscious including him.

I’m thinking that it would be a reasonable thing for him to reassure me back for once.

“You’re amazing too” “No need to be self conscious, you’re lovely” Etc.

Plus if it’s just fun for him then why the hell does he care anyway…

You complimented him for giving you the most pleasure before sex..

Surely you see the problem? "Before sex" implies before the main event, which could also read to him like "I've had better dance partners in the past". Maybe he's got a little anxiety, pre flight nerves, ED or something. His insecurities lie with how you view his sexual performance. Your well intended compliment most probably landed wrong.

Anyway I think that's why he's not reciprocating. Why not initiate? With respect, most guys can't resist a slow, sensual massage. Especially if done with tenderness. Perhaps that's the kind of "reassurance" he's looking for.

As someone who's had periods of erectile dysfunction in the past, "I told him that he gives me more pleasure than anyone else has before sex" would definitely feel like a bit of a backhanded compliment to me.

Either way though, it sounds like you're not getting what you need from him emotionally, so it's probably time to move on. His anxiety issues are not yours to fix, and early stages of dating are meant to be fun. It doesn't sound like this is for you, so I'd suggest cutting your losses.