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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner jealous of my kids???

37 replies

twinkle2525 · 03/03/2024 18:05

Hello I really want peoples takes on this

I'm 32. I have 2 teen girls I had when I was young.
And I have a 5 yr old boy I had obviously a bit later.
I have a new partner (2 years together)
He's good to all of us and is fond of the kids he gets on best with the girls maybe because they are older?
However it seems to be coming apparent he has some kind of issue with my boy.

We live apart we have our own houses. Sometimes I stay there. Sometimes he stays with me. Any nights we're apart, my 5 year old boy will take full advantage & sneak in bed with me which I don't mind. We both love it. He's a real mummy's boy.

My partner said he should not be allowed to sleep in my bed ever?? I put him straight and told him not to comment etc.
there's been a few issues like this lately.
Today, during conversation I said if I had anymore children I'd love another boy (just conversation)
And his reply was.,, if we had a child together, he wouldn't be spoilt like my son and he went on to say he'd teach our child not to be a little snitch like him too !!
He's also made snarky comments if my boy has been off school poorly or whatever that his children will be sent to school come what may.

I feel this is a final straw for me as it's totally un called for and I feel totally offended if I'm honest.

For the record, my boy is well behaved. He has lots of energy like any 5 yr old but he is extremely loving and cuddly as that's how I've raised all the kids with pure love & togetherness.
May I add my partner has no children & no experience of being a parent.

I feel he's got it in for my son. Maybe jelous that my son is the most needy of me because he's so young.
Honestly I'm so angry. Am I being over the top??

Xx

OP posts:
EVHead · 03/03/2024 21:14

Well done! 👏👏👏

Autienotnautie · 03/03/2024 21:26

Good for you op!! 🤛 this would only have got worse. And how awful it would have been for your little boy to be made to feel inferior by a role model in his life. You have 100% done the right thing.

Don't change your mind, even if he apologised and says it will stop. He will still be thinking it and it would restart at some point.

Mayhemmumma · 04/03/2024 09:14

He sounds vile! Get rid of him and enjoy your snuggles with your precious boy.

He is criticising you as a parent you can't have children with him.

Healthyhappymama · 04/03/2024 13:50

You are not over the top. Any man that came I to my child's life and talked about my child like that, he'd instantly be shown the fucking door

Geebray · 04/03/2024 13:53

twinkle2525 · 03/03/2024 19:51

I've dumped him. I've blocked him and told him he's no good for my kids.
I just laid on my bed having a quiet tear.. and my 5 year old came in with a box of chocolates from downstairs for me and cuddled me and he has zero idea that he just confirmed my decision.

I loved my partner so so much and I'll really miss him. But the burning mother's love inside me takes over. My son is and will always be the strong man in my life & my job in life is to make sure he grows into the best husband and daddy ever.
I can't stop crying
But guess who's in my bed tonight?? My baby boy!! And he bloody can be when he's 30 if he likes!!!!!! Xxxxxxx love to all of you for your advice

Well done OP. Lovely post to read about your darling little boy 😍

IsthisthereallifeIsthisjustfantasy · 04/03/2024 15:50

I read somewhere that stepdads find it much easier to take on daughters than sons. I think they can feel more threatened by a boy in the house with a different father.

Anyway, well done, OP. He didn't deserve you.

DrJoanAllenby · 04/03/2024 15:54

'I feel he's got it in for my son.'

You and your children do not need this potentially dangerous man in your lives.

What starts off as petulance and jealousy can often turn into abuse and even murder.

It's telling that he called your son a snitch and was angry about it. That sounds like he is annoyed he can't be unkind to him behind your back as he is not a child to keep quiet and will tell you about anything untoward that happens to him.

Get rid of this nasty man as soon as possible.

DrJoanAllenby · 04/03/2024 15:57

Just seen your update.

You need to have a chat with your teenage girls as it could be he has a hold over them and may manipulate them either emotionally by saying how he loves them or sinister means such as he buys gifts for them.

99victoria · 04/03/2024 17:05

When I met my second husband I told him on our 3rd or 4th date that my children would always come first. That if there was ever a choice to be made between him and them I would choose them. We now have grandchildren and he jokes each time a new grandchild arrives that he's dropped further down the list :)

Freshair87 · 04/03/2024 18:37

Great job OP, your little boy sounds adorable!

twinkle2525 · 04/03/2024 18:40

Awwww Thankyou so much everyone.
He is the best. I'm crying now writing this.

He cuddles me so much. He pushes the trolley round at shopping. He helps me with my bags out the car!! On the weekend he came upstairs with a fruit shoot & a dunker and said here mummy I've made you something to eat. I cried.
He's only 5!! But I've fought him very young to look after ladies because I don't want my future daughter in law to cry like I have xxxxx

OP posts:
ymemanresu · 04/03/2024 18:44

Good for you OP, you made the right choice. Your little boy sounds amazing and you a great mum. Had the shivers when you said he preferred your teenage girls too. Don't be sad, you've had a lucky escape ❤️

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