How do you know when you're ready to date again?

[SoftFluffySocks]

My ex and I broke up about a year ago but still live together and will do until divorce is finalised for another 6ish months. We have two kids.

I'm already starting to think about dating, but I wouldn't do it until I have moved out. And I would not be introducing dates or boyfriends to my children, and I probs don't want to live with a man until kids have grown up and left home.

But there's a part of me that says no it is way way too soon. And that I should give myself at least a year of being single in my new home.

Since we broke up I have been working on my social life, new hobbies and progressing in my career so I feel like I am in a good place. It's actually been lovely to have this time still living together to come to terms with the divorce without the stress of splitting our finances and moving out all at the same time.

I have this constant inner battle bewteen looking forward to dating when I move out and thinking that that is a stupid, unhealthy idea.

How do I know when I'm ready?

Tbh I’m a single parent and I would prefer a man with no children and I’ve been told most childfree men won’t want a woman with kids so I don’t think she will be discounting as many men as you seem to think!

But you have to filter them somehow. There's distance, age, looks, interests - why shouldn't having children or not be one of those? You can't deal with every wave of men - there are simply too many of them.

I started OLD about a month after my ex left me. Bad advice from friends. Far too soon.

2 years down the line I've tried OLD again and had a bad experience again and whilst I'm still talking (ish) to an older bloke if this doesn't work out I'm taking a break.

However, I know I'm ready. Recently I got together with a man I felt a very strong attraction to and whilst it didn't work out it did give me the proof that I needed that I was ready. We were intimate without me suffering any kind of trauma response and it was just what we both wanted at the time.

I see men I like everywhere and I'm feeling more confident in myself. I know what I want and Don't want and I know I need to be careful.

I would say that once you feel settled in your new life, yet feel something is missing. If you don't think there's anything missing in your life, why add an extra complication?

There's no set time in which one has to wait before dating again; usually the marriage is over long before it is officially over so it might emotionally have been over for longer than a year.