Is it ok to ask if he interested still

[userpip]

Been dating 4 months, everything great consistent communication, good morning texts and regular dates etc

We had date Thursday and he said he couldn't stay night due to work, Fridays morning he texted saying morning and asked how my day was going since then I've had to be the one to reach out, he responds but Saturday for example it got to 4pm and I had heard nothing until I messaged and again today I've heard nothing which is unusual as I would usually get a good morning

I just want to know either way Sonia it ok for me to text something along the lines of

Hey you've always been so good at communicating and keeping in touch but I've noticed the vibes changed since Friday, you know how I feel and I hope nothing has changed for you but the not knowing is making me feel a bit rubbish ?

What would happen if everyone took this stance?

That’s a bit of a clingy desperate message, please don’t send it.

id send something like , how’s it going, not sure if our vibe is changing, do you feel it, do you want to continue.

i mean if i was you and desperate to ask. Personally id call and ask him or leave it and see if he contacts me.

I guess a lot less women chasing mwn and having their hearts broken, putting up with crumbs.

That's cool. And also, no men chasing women either, so no dates, right? Or was your advice just for women? As in, 'make sure that men are taking charge of your situation as a couple, right from date 1'?

I would leave it until the end of the weekend to message about how your weekend was/share something form your weekend and ask how their weekend was. On the one hand, I can see why the change in communication can cause anyone anxiety in early dating but I wouldn’t accuse someone of something deliberate yet. I would however still message and then judge by the tone of communication and consistency if there is a path forward.

I understand why you feel they way you do but would sit tight for a few days.

2 reasons- it's a tiny blip in terms of time so far, also I wouldn't want someone thinking I was keeping such a close watch on their Comms and so closely affected by their decision to text me or not of a morning. I would be put off by someone being that watchful of mine and a text about changing vibes after 2 days.

3 reasons actually, why can't you text good morning sometimes?

This is not to say your gut is necessarily off but your message comes across brittle. 4 months is pretty new but not nothing in terms of time. I think you'd do better to see how the week pans out rather than rushing straight to 'you haven't sent me a good morning text. What is the meaning of this?!'. If not much enthusiasm over the week then ask if all is well or be more decisive. In person if possible. But if things have been otherwise pretty good, don't charge in too soon wanting reassurance.

If I'm honest, it gives you more certainty if things are shifting. As I say, 2days is nothing. He will probably say he has been busy or something but a whole week of being unavailable you'll have a much clearer idea of how to proceed.

Agree with @Watchkeys. And others.
Don't text him and keep busy. If he wants to get in touch he will.

Leave him be.
He knows where you are and how to contact you.
Play it cool. Don’t be clingy.
He’ll get back to you if he’s still “that in to you.”

Re this and the other 'he will contact you' comments. Yes, fair points but she is going to want to draw a line at some juncture after 4 months if he doesn't or continues being patchy.

It might simply be that he's settled in the relationship, or he's busy and doesn't have time to message. Do you message your loved ones every day? No, because you know they love you.

The only time I might be wary is if he used to message every day without fail and you feel that the tone of the message has changed. A roundabout way of judging would be to say something like 'Did you have a nice weekend? What did you do?' If he was visiting friends it's not surprising that he might not have texted. If he told you he wasn't doing much, that's more cause for concern. I would really wait it out a couple of weeks to check whether it seems to be a pattern or not- you don't want to come across as clingy.

Exactly- you should be secure enough in your relationship that you can cope with him not initiating messages for a few days. Hold off on messaging as it gives him time to miss you. Maybe if it gets to a week and he's not messaged, then there could be something going on.

Agreed.

Why can't people talk normally? If asking someone if everything's OK after four months of dating is going to scare a man away, I don't think they're that interested in the first place. The only people who will be put off are avoidants and that's a whole other circle of he'll you're in for if you've landed one of those!

I haven't embarked on a new relationship since the dark ages, but by four months, you were generally in a relationship with someone and able to communicate.

Remember people are up
and down
in having a shit week and i haven’t been in touch with people

and yes it could be a slow fade we know that

but give him maybe some space and don’t leap to the worse