never wants to get married

[frijji]

I have been seeing a man for around 3 months. I like him alot and really imagined us having a future together.
Thing is he has very recently told me that he will NEVER marry again, under any circumstances.

I feel really deflated. I have never been married and always looked foward to the day I would have a "real" family, husband etc and now I know that with him this will never happen.

I know people will say marriage isn't everything but I'm not sure I can carry on with this knowing he will never make that committment to me.
Am I being stupid?

No you are not being stupid, but maybe now is the time to really find out what you want and what you are prepared to put up with in a realationship.

I think if you really see it as a deal-breaker then you would be better to find out now rather than doing what many do which is to carry on in the hope that he will one day change his mind.

Try and talk to him as to why he says he does not want to marry.

At least be grateful that he is being honest and not just stringing you along.

no. you are not being stupoid. and this man is telling you what he will notgive. which si good. think about what youwant in life, and then move on

3 months really isn't enough time to decide you want to marry someone!

I don't think you're being stupid though, you just know what you want (to get married) and he knows what he wants (not to get married). If that means you two are not compatible long-term then it is up to you whether you stay with him for the time being, or move on.

You're not being stupid - if it's something which is important to you but he is also being entirely fair in telling you his position now.

Is 3 months in not a little early to be going down that discussion route anyway? I think most people (myself included) would be a little scared off if someone started talking about marriage so early on in a relationship.

I never want to get married again as far as I am aware but you don't really know how you'll feel so can never truly say never IMO.

i dont think your being stupid but 3 mths is still so early on when youi have been together longer he may change his mind people who9 have been hurt believe this is how they really feel give it a yr he may be popping the question

if not you have to decide wether marraige is more important than this new man

i have been with my dp 4 yrs we have ds 3 and he doesnt want anymore dc or to get married always says we will one day then picks fights if marraige mentioned never known a man to find so many reasons not to get married

in all honesty his ruined the idea of marriage for me with his attitude and his negativity i dont want to marry someone who doesnt see marraige the way i do

but we get on great were commited his loyal honest and great provider and father and everything a husband can be without the ceromony

i had to do alot of soul searching and were happy yes i would love to marry but i also would not want to be without him and we are commited if someone doesnt want to be commited marraige wont change that

hi is so commited to me he just doesnt get marraige but then his parents divorced mine have been together 35 yrs i see the ideal with them and he sees it as what does it really change

we love each other were committed we have a ds i'm ok with that now as its about 2 peole wanting to be together it doesnt have to be with marraige actions are what counts how they are to you and how you feel within the relationship

of course there are times i feel slightly hard done by look at wedding dresses think of having same name as him but what really does it change as 2 people in love

my dp has it all worked out lawers to add me to will deed poll to change name lol dont think his a man to be changing his mind and you know part of me loves that about him lol

if you have only been together short while i wouldnt be worried until youi have been together maybe a yr and the where are we heading but beings his been honest if its not what you want maybe its best to leave as you cant expect to change someone he has been honest and may never change his mind except it or move on

my dp on ther hand spent 6 mths when we first got together proposing and when questioning him he said seemed the right way to try and tell me how much he loved me but didnt mean it you can see why i love him cant you lol

you could still have a family and live the dream, as it were, without the piece of paper. There really is no difference IMO, apart from the cost that my divorce will come to next year!

You never know, you may like living as a free woman, and you get to keep your surname, hurrah!

3 months is hardly any time at all

i would say i never wanted to get married again and it is unlikely i would

but if someone mentioned it after 3 months then i would seriously freak

i have been seeing someone for longer than that and still trying to work out if he is a boyfriend or not

so early days i think

tho if you defintiely want to marry then maybe it wont be him

I've never understood the pull towards marriage but accept that for many people that piece of paper seems to represent much more......... I could never justify doing it again (at the moment anyway )

Me either Wisteria. Just the thought of it makes me shudder.

I don't think you are being stupid, and I understand you may grieve for the loss of your wedding. BUT I think it would be a shame to finish a potentially great relationship over this one thing.

It is perfectly possible to have a long-term, committed relationship without getting married. And divorce statistics are all you need to know about marriage as a guarantee of being together forever.

If someone I were dating mentioned marriage after 3 months I would jump out of a window and run away. Was this just one casual conversation you had, or have you been leaving bridal magazines lying casually around with particular dresses circled?
Bear in mind that 3 months is pretty soon to have decided that you want to marry him, let alone to have asked him about it, an maybe he came out with never wanting to get married as a way of asking you to back off a bit.