Any dating success stories from 40+ women who are single parents of small children?

[WhateverWhatever123]

I have a baby and a 3 year-old who are with me full-time. Anyone similar out there with a success story?

Bump

Might not be the success story that you are looking for BUT...I have found that I'm so much more aware of what I'm looking for and what will/won't work for me. My boundaries are stronger, I trust my gut and someone really has to add to my life positively for me to consider going further than a couple of dates.

That might sound like common sense and how things should be in general, but for me, they weren't. So while I don't have a long-term dating success to report, this is progress.

How will you date if they are with you full time? Sorry just being nosey as that’s my situation but I’m a bit younger and haven’t managed to date in 7 years

I can’t give you dating tips, but wonder if you have a support network that will help you with the children while you date?

Otherwise it’s presumably impossible, as I don’t imagine you’ll take the children on dates with you nor invite strangers into their home.

I think it depends what you're looking for & if you have a support network.
My DC is with me 100% & I work ft...to begin with I just did the FB thing which served a purpose...
3 years on & I have been seeing someone (met OLD) for over a year - he has his DC 50% so we don't see eachother all of the time, but it works for us & we each still get our own time with our DC...Good luck!

I am on the @Thesheerrelief page at the minute and happy as Larry.

I’d be looking at getting sitters.

Where are all the responses saying, ‘Yes I met an amazing man and we are happily married now a few years on. He has adopted my children and treats them as his own’?!!!

Nope, sorry. I don't know anyone IRL who has had a kid then gone on to have a happy relationship with someone else who has stuck around for more than a few years max. Usually they bring a lot of damage and drama to the woman/child's life and often leave after creating another mouth for the woman to feed without much, if any maintenance.

I know you wanted positive stories, but as a long term single mum I don't think it's fair to pretend it's an easy thing to have new partnerships with men who haven't had children already, or men who have left families in the dust usually because they're not responsible enough to be a role model.

With respect OP - shouldn’t you put energy into raising your baby and toddler, rather than chasing yet another man right now?
Presumably - you already found someone as a single mother. Father of your baby #2.

I’d say you need to figure out what sort of man you need before you go looking again.

How do you know the two Dc have different dads?
but agree I think you need to consider if you’ve got time at the moment! Plus energy and money - sitters are expensive

I’m afraid it’s this. But, I haven’t let anywhere near my child that I’ve dated and am better at sussing them early on… however def the only sort of men I’ve met so far

I’m actually glad people are posting these responses. I posted mainly because I’m sick and tired of a certain person going on about how I should really try dating and what are my plans for myself for the future, yadda yadda. I didn’t have great success doing OLD when I was 10 years younger and baggage-free, so to expect to suddenly have a different outcome if I tried it now seems like madness (nevermind the need for babysitters).

It’s really infuriating sometimes when those of a different generation who have been married for decades think OLD sounds wonderful and that all you have to do is stick up a profile and a trail of great men will be beating a path to your frontdoor.

I can kind of agree, I know of one couple who are early 30's, got together in their 20's. It all makes a difference as far as I'm concerned especially from what I have experienced being older.

Woman had one DC, bf has two from previous. Issues there at some point because he had to go to court to get access.
Not sure apart from some babysitting, how the gf saw her bf with work etc and her responsibilities, his not the same as not with his kids all the time.
She reckons she left it a year before introducing her DC, i don't think so.

And another part of the story was him at hers and them having sex in the same one bedroom flat she lived in, that her daughter had to sleep in too.
Bf lived with family, gf had to wait for permanent housing.
And has since got a two bed flat, so bf made a clever mood I think, by asking if he could have his DC over there when it is his time to have them, and that's what they do.
And he started staying more often, but also alternating between there and the other place, I call that never growing up.

They since went on to have their own child, which ties him in a bit more if you see what I mean. And he is there pretty much all the time, but to me he doesn't do a lot, yes he works but that is not everything. And he's got somewhere to live without having to lift a finger 🤷🏻‍♀️

Not the only example I could give, but I have a habit of waffling on.
All I'm saying is, I have seen men do it but only if it's in their own interest!

Agree with you there.
And like someone said on another thread about a similar situation.
If you walked in a pub full of men out of all of them how many will you like/how many will like you 🤷🏻‍♀️
It's the same with OLD.

My best friend started again in late 30s with a teenage son and 2 little ones. She met a guy online with a teenage child who'd divorced 4 or 5 years earlier and yes they both come with 'experiences' but they clearly love each other and each others kids and they appear happy and really grateful to have found each other. It's got to be what you want though and the right time, for example the thought of having another relationship myself knocks me ill but if you're ready you're ready. Your life, don't be pressured to do what you think is right/society's expectation.