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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Separation advice

3 replies

Winterrain24 · 02/03/2024 19:13

Evening mums netters,
I finished my marriage in October due to escalating arguments between myself & ex dh. He has always struggled juggling his stressful business bringing his bad mood home & after a death of someone close to him last year he was very difficult to be around; moody, gaslightly, angry & selfish. We have 2 young children & it came to a head in October when he lost his cool shouting at myself & a friend of his over a minor problem I realised I just couldn’t live being treated badly any longer. Fast forward 5 months & he’s in therapy, councilling and upon antidepressants. He’s stuck to our coparenting plan & been a good consistent dad to the kids despite living away as well as supporting us financially.
id like your thoughts on what I should do. Wev made plans to formally separate, begin divorce proceedings & cut our financial ties, I plan to move out of the family home with the kids soon. Since he has left there hasn’t been a day he hasn’t told me he loves me & begged for another chance. I know I love him beyond measure but am scared of the instability he presented to me & the kids. I’m desperate for the mental health interventions to have an impact but do you think they will? Do people change? He’s my best friend & father of my children but I feel my heads telling me to put it in the bin & move on.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 03/03/2024 07:51

Go with your gut.

2024Melanie · 03/03/2024 09:08

Dont go back

K8ate · 03/03/2024 11:20

You’ve already said he has a stressful business then suffered a bereavement.
Whilst everyone should be treated with dignity and respect, was there no understanding or trying to help on your part?
Did you do your fair share of trying to spread the stress that was presumably as a consequence of the business supporting the whole family?
We constantly hear the other side - ‘do you pull your weight regarding the household chores?’
Did you pull your weight to relieve the stress burden?
It’s a medical fact that stress is a major cause of death.

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