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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Time to call it quits? Please help me.

8 replies

Prim79 · 02/03/2024 19:07

Please help. DH of 14yrs is just being horrid these days blaming me for enslaving him. This is the same man that has gone to Vegas, going to Prague next month on a stag and See's friends occasionally. I literally stay home all the time. He moans that I am a fat boring c&+t, that I've let myself go. I am struggling with RA and 3mths ago I think I herniated my cervical disc. To this day, I've lost strength in my wrist and my fingers have gone completely numb. I am waiting for the MRI results. We have a physically disabled son where he claims that it is too much to look after 2 disabled people and must've been punished for something he done in a previous life.
I have asked him to help me a little more with cooking, cleaning etc where he tells me to stop telling him rather than asking him. I always have a lovely clean house especially due DS only being able to crawl and work 12hr shifts a couple of times a week with a 5hr commute on top. I'm broken.
Earlier on the motorway today I didn't get into an inside lane briefly as my neck is killing and restricted at the moment to perform quick over-the-shoulder checks/blindspots. I told him that at the moment I didn't like driving and felt scared to do it. In a fit of anger, he thumped the dash 3 times really hard and grabbed the wheel shaking it side to side asking if that made me feel scared (with the kids in the back). He refuses to leave the house claiming it's his as he put all the money into it (joint mortgage). I have nowhere or no money to go with 3 children & 2 dogs

OP posts:
TriggerwarningEmotionalabuse · 02/03/2024 19:17

Leave now
phone the police and Leave

LittleGreenDragons · 02/03/2024 19:17

The first thing you need to do is find a solicitor for a one off consultation to find out your rights. It's worth it's weight in gold as it gives you knowledge. Find out his salary, and savings, where his pension is (and value), equity in the house, if you can. All assets are pooled before division.

He is correct that you can't get him to leave, but he can't make you either. One of you has to buy the other out, or the house gets sold and equity is split.

In a fit of anger, he thumped the dash 3 times really hard and grabbed the wheel shaking it side to side asking if that made me feel scared (with the kids in the back).
You do need to find a way to leave this abusive and cruel man. Look up cms, and whether you would be entitled to benefits etc. Good luck.

TriggerwarningEmotionalabuse · 02/03/2024 19:17

Your not safe
you are being abused
your children are in danger

TrumpetOfTheMatriarchy · 02/03/2024 19:23

There's only one cunt in that account and it is not you.
Leave. Tonight. He brings nothing to your life. Leave. You are better than this and deserve more. Don't waste any more of your precious life with him.

Bogeyes · 02/03/2024 19:27

He's a selfish pig. Get rid. You deserve better. X

SheepAndSword · 02/03/2024 19:29

He's horrible.

You need to get out safely. It must feel overwhelming but it can be done.

Prim79 · 02/03/2024 19:29

Thanks everyone. I'm going to have to get strong and leave, especially for the poor kids. He rants that he's angry as there's no intimacy but who on earth would want to be intimate with someone who acts like this? X

OP posts:
Catoo · 02/03/2024 19:52

What he did in the car was seriously scary.
Definitely time to get legal advice and start the process of leaving this man.

I’m sorry you’re going through all this. It will feel better once you start taking control. 💐

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