Not so much of a long term relationship as lock down kind of got in the way but had a shorter relationship that I thought was going to lead to marriage and kids end abruptly at 38 after discovering he was having confusion about his sexuality. It had felt like last chance saloon and was devastating.
I've recently turned 40 and am still single and childless. I'm from a very conservative, Asian background where single parenthood by choice would result in shunning.
I really regret not making more of an effort straight after that last relationship ended and basically throwing myself into trying to find a decent man who was marriage and family minded...matchmaking, online dating, set ups etc.
I've had very very long periods of being single throughout my life and I know I'm better in a couple.
I'm devastated about not having kids and would have loved the pregnancy, birth experience as well as being a mum...I'm one of those people that seemed to be meant to be a mum and wife so I am full of regrets.
If you can see yourself living a happy, fulfilled single life then that takes a massive pressure off.
If you know you want biological kids...then I'd advise you to do everything in your power to make that happen.
If you want a man and bio kids, then get to some sort of therapy asap to work through the trauma of the bad relationship so you are in a healthy place for a new relationship and then treat dating like a business. Get really clear on what you want, boundaries etc, ditch relationships that aren't working early and communicate your needs early.
Even though I'm single and childless at 40, I have no regrets about leaving any past relationships and know I 100% did the right thing not having kids with them. Don't contemplate going back to /staying in a bad relationship in order to have a child. It's not worth tying yourself to those sort of men for life, or having to see your kids get hurt by a rubbish dad.