Am I doing the right thing or being gaslit??

[Colee321]

my partners dad has asked to see our daughter and now I'm worried they might seek legal action-

My partner and I both agreed he would have no contact due to being accused of child sexual abuse years ago he was never convicted the child wouldn't speak to the police,he watching a woman with binunchlors,he has inappropriately touched my bra a few years ago, felt up a family friend,took photos of women in a shopping centre,had underage girls on his Facebook he is also a functional alcoholic his disabled adult son has had to put door alarms on his bedroom because he can be verbally abusive. My partners mum keeps saying to my partner to bring out daughter in despite us expressing our boundaries saying things like your cousin brings the baby in and your dad didn't bother she is causing a lot of arguments within the family and says she doesn't get to see our daughter despite us making multiple attempts for her to have contact and she just huffs because it's not at the house his whole family enable him and think that our daughter should go to visit

I didn't answer your poll because it's not really clear to me what the options are. But YES, you are absolutely doing the right thing keeping your daughter away from this man.

Regarding legal action, as far as I know (and I'm not a lawyer so maybe someone else can confirm this) grandparents have NO legal right to see a grandchild.

On what grounds would they seek legal action? Your right to protect your child trumps any entitlements they think they are owed. Give them a stiff ignoring comfortable in the knowledge that you are absolutely right to enforce these boundaries. I wish you well xx

it is disturbing to realise that a child in this sordid mess of a family.

you and your partner need to parent the fuck up and have nothing to do with his side of the family

but not a cats chance of hell any decent parenting is going to happen

Keep her away from them. Cease all contact yourselves. I don't believe grandparents have any contact rights under the law except in extremely specific circumstances where there is already a relationship between them and the child - for example, if grandparents have provided weekly childcare for a number of years. This obviously wouldn't apply in your case but you could check with a family law solicitor to give you peace of mind if you wanted to.

Not a chance I'd be taking my kid over unsupervised (or even supervised), and from what you've said there is no existing relationship so v unlikely that they'd even get permission to apply for any sort of contact order.

Stick to your guns OP.

Stick to your guns and keep your child away from this pervert.

They've not got a cat in hells chance of getting contact, unsupervised or otherwise, granted through the courts so ignore them and keep your child away

I hope your partner supports you in this?

You are 💯 doing the right thing not letting this abusive bastard anywhere near your daughter.
I hope your partner is supporting you.

I don't have anything to do with his side of the family anymore it's my partner that has contact with them

There is no such think as grandparents rights in the UK and visitation is only given rarely so in the case where a child that not seeing the grandparent would cause the child significant emotional harm (so if the child has previously lived with the grandparents and not seeing them any more any more would cause the child long term issues).

Do not let this man see your child. Let them threat all they want, they won't get anywhere.

Thankyou so much for the reassurance sometimes the lines get blurry when you have his whole family saying she should be going into their house as other kids do and you begin to wonder are you being too overprotective

There are no grandparents' rights

Even if there was no one else to look after your child, social services would look for anyone else before letting that monster near your baby

Thankyou for your reply and reassurance yes I think I will check in with a solicitor just incase

Keep your child far away from that disgusting pervert. They have no legal rights, you are absolutely doing the right thing. If your MiL is upset about it, she is old enough to understand that that’s the price you pay for keeping a nonce as your husband.

I wouldn’t let my child within a mile of them.

Grandparents don't have parental rights to the grandkids. Their threats are just bluff.

Keep her away. If other family members feel comfortable taking their kids to visit that's their choice. As much as your choice is not to. I wouldn't. Grandparents don't have any legal action to take.

I'm amazed your partner is still in contact with the family who are putting pressure on in this way.
They need to be told that if they don't stop partner will go NC with them. You need to tell partner to shape up and put DC first.

it says a lot about him

Don't let your precious child anywhere near any of them and do NOT cave into pressure.
As other pps stated, they have no legal rights over your child whatsoever

Just because MIL is so desperate to have a man that she’s ignoring the fact that he’s a sex offender, doesn’t mean the rest of the family should play along.

Never leave child with any of them. They can’t be trusted to keep this man away.

Make this clear to your DP also.

They have no rights. If they become insistent ask the police for advice as you believe he’s trying to get access to a child and he’s been accused of this before.