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Original poster

Date night?

25 replies

Saturdaysleepday · 02/03/2024 07:09

I’ve been seeing someone for around 6 months. We arranged to go to the cinema and to a local restaurant last night.

The film was ok, we had a chat afterwards and he just said “I don’t fancy going out to eat now if that’s ok” he didn’t say why or anything and we went our separate ways.

Am I wasting my time with this one? I feel there was no thought for what I wanted to do. We had even confirmed our plans two hours before the film.

OP posts:
Hiddenvoice · 02/03/2024 07:19

Sorry it’s really hard to tell based on this one time thing, it really depends how things have been going for the last few weeks.

There could be a range of reasons to why he changed his mind- starting to feel unwell, tired after work, feeling down and doesn’t want you to know or maybe his feelings are starting to change.

I would chat to him today to check in and see what happened last night. If he says he just changed his mind then point out you were looking forward to it and felt a bit let down.

Zanatdy · 02/03/2024 07:26

Hard to know, is this the first time he’s cancelled plans like this? Maybe he wasn’t feeling too good, maybe he is planning to end the relationship, it’s hard to know with just this one piece of info. Do you feel that he’s starting to pull away a little now?

BCBird · 02/03/2024 07:28

U would imagine there is something going on. Hopefully he will explain. I'd wait snd would not be hasty making snap decisions

Picklestop · 02/03/2024 07:34

It really depends on the reasoning, if he was tired or feeling unwell then “thought as to what you wanted to do” doesn’t really come into it. After six months, I think it would be quite reasonable to ask him.

Dozycuntlaters · 02/03/2024 07:45

Why didn't you ask?

It could be something as simple as the film didn't finish until late and he just didn't fancy eating that late. Strange that he didn't give a reason, or you didn't ask.

Original poster
Saturdaysleepday · 02/03/2024 09:52

The film finished around 8.15.

I’ve messaged this morning and said “I hope you feel better today” he replied “thanks”.

Sod it, I’m not chasing him I’m off out for a nice long walk 😊

OP posts:
Tuxedocatz · 02/03/2024 12:00

I think you know deep down if a man bails on you mid way through a date they’re not that into you.
dont message him again. And don’t message to see if he is ok. He’s not interested.

no proper decent person would treat you like this

samestyle · 02/03/2024 16:21

It's not sounding great that you went separate ways, sounds like he's got a chip on his shoulder about something and sulking. Not much you can do if doesn't want to communicate, leave him to it and assume he's not interested.

Prinnny · 02/03/2024 16:24

It sounds like he’s not that into you, bailing half way through a date is weird, especially as he didn’t say why and then the one word response today. I’d leave it now and see if contacts you.

SgtJuneAckland · 02/03/2024 16:24

Maybe he had what he perceived as a better offer for a Friday night, mates in the pub etc. Unless he'd said I'm not feeling well I think I'm going to just need to go home, and then messaged this morning apologising (it's what I would've done if I'd had to bail due to illness, so sorry about last night, feeling much better today or feeling dreadful this morning, are you free next weekend for that dinner...) it just sounds like he couldn't be bothered finishing the date

Pinkbonbon · 02/03/2024 16:36

I would leave it. Unless he pursues and makes the effort going forwards, I'd assume either he's not into it or even worse, he's one of those assholes who wants you to chase after him even when he behaves like a dick, so he knows you have low self esteem.

DaughterNo2 · 02/03/2024 16:38

Tuxedocatz · 02/03/2024 12:00

I think you know deep down if a man bails on you mid way through a date they’re not that into you.
dont message him again. And don’t message to see if he is ok. He’s not interested.

no proper decent person would treat you like this

OP said they’d been dating for 6 months

Original poster
Saturdaysleepday · 02/03/2024 16:44

He messaged earlier not mentioning last night just asking how my day had been I replied “at least I got more than 3 words that time 😉” he replied “thank you! Who doesn’t ALWAYS appreciate feedback”. I’m throwing this one back 🐟

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 02/03/2024 16:46

Ooh I dunno how I missed the 6 months thing too. Maybe because its strange that a guy would end the date like that 6 months in without you feeling secure in the knowledge that this wasn't a relationship issue.

It sounds like he's been half heartedly stringing you along and this is another demonstration of that. And you know he's just not that into the relationship.

I use the word relationship...but I notice you haven't called it that ?
You just say 'dating'.

If you're still just dating someone after 6 whole months, he's not that into you.

I dunno about most people but I'd expect clarity relationship wise by 2-3 months max.

So maybe that's another indicator.

AuntMarch · 02/03/2024 16:48

Glad to hear it OP!

Pinkbonbon · 02/03/2024 16:49

Saturdaysleepday · 02/03/2024 16:44

He messaged earlier not mentioning last night just asking how my day had been I replied “at least I got more than 3 words that time 😉” he replied “thank you! Who doesn’t ALWAYS appreciate feedback”. I’m throwing this one back 🐟

Edited

Do basically he's found a way to turn your call out on his behaviour...into...a compliment? Lol. Gotta give props for his brass neck i suppose.

But yeah, he should at least have texted to apologise for needing to leave earlier. It's basically manners and it appears he doesn't have them. Shame. But yeah I think you're probably wise to chuck him back.

Original poster
Saturdaysleepday · 02/03/2024 17:06

Oh I forgot he added the 🤷‍♂️ emoji. Sarcasm at its best. Tbh he can be quite moody/sullen

OP posts:
SheepAndSword · 02/03/2024 17:38

You've got the right attitude tbh.

Bit odd that he didn't explain after the cinema why he wanted to go home. After 6 months you'd consider someone a boyfriend, wouldn't you?!

Original poster
Saturdaysleepday · 02/03/2024 17:45

I’m late 40s he is early 50s. I cba with this kinda crap at my age.

OP posts:
Pinkbonbon · 02/03/2024 17:57

Yeah I mean a relationship should be comfortable and not full of misunderstandings. People should be capable of considering others and how they might feel. It would have taken him 2 seconds to say 'I'm really sorry, I was also looking forwards to tonight but I'm absolutely knackered, do you think we could get lunch on xyz instead?'. Instead he left you in a state of wondering 'is he just not into me?' because he either doesn't care to reassure you. Not even so much as a 'sorry' the next day. That sorta thing is tiresome.

Same thing with being able to tell someone you're just not into it. Rather than stringing them along and making them feel like crap because they just don't know where they stand.

Life's too short.

WinterFaye2 · 02/03/2024 21:46

Sorry OP, he will only get worse with age if he can’t work his way out of it now. I can’t imagine there’s anything you can do to help him . Leave him in the sidelines and get on with life. If it’s in the stars, he will reappear somehow x

Shitlord · 03/03/2024 08:34

I agree with you letting him go. He hasn't explained or apologised for cutting a date short on a weekend night, is often moody and has just been sarcastic and reproachful when you called him out on being taciturn. Do you want someone petulant, tiresome and ill mannered?

Jk987 · 03/03/2024 10:32

Is there chemistry? Are you affectionate with each other.

MinervatheGreat · 03/03/2024 10:37

Prinnny · 02/03/2024 16:24

It sounds like he’s not that into you, bailing half way through a date is weird, especially as he didn’t say why and then the one word response today. I’d leave it now and see if contacts you.

This!
Something, might have been something really small, made him realise he didn’t want to take things further so it was his way of letting you down or giving you “the chuck,”

A bit rude but maybe having come to that conclusion, he didn’t want to spend even more time with you?

Im sorry OP, but I think it’s over. Let it go and move on.

Scaffoldingisugly · 03/03/2024 10:39

Moody /sullen is OK if you are both teenagers... Out of curiosity who paid for the cinema?

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