Reassurance needed.

[Wesel85]

My current partner and I have been together for 6 years and have 1 child together, but I have 3 other children from a previous relationship.

2 and half years ago I moved myself and my 3 kids into his house, as it was something myself and the 3 children wanted to do discussion was had between every one.

But since moving into his house things have become very difficult, my current partner dose not get along with my 2 middle children that are 9 and 6 at present, they have ADHD and ASD which my current partner finds difficult to handle.

He has taken to separating them from the his family as he says and keeps them in their bedrooms, which I do not agree with in anyway.

Yes it can become frustrating and annoying to have to tell my 9 year old and 6 year old things over and over again and not have them follow simple commands, but I dont agree with the insults and shouting at them constantly.

It has become a bit of a battle ground in the house when this Subject is raised, as my current partner now dosent want them in the house and in my opinion is being petty and vindictive.

I am seriously considering leaving and taking all the children with me as I simply cannot allow my children to be subjected to this kind of treatment any longer.

Yes they are not perfect and do things wrong daily but that dosent mean they deserve to be treated like vermin, which is how I feel they are treated.

I have tried to talk to my current partner calmly about this subject and about how I do not like how he treats my 9 year old and 6 year old with such contempt, but his response is it is their bad behaviour and not listening and following the rules that sets him off and the fact that he dosent feel they are age appropriate.

It has got to the point now where he just says it's his house and his rules and if I don't like it I can leave he also says that I constantly make excuses for their behaviour and am soft because I feel guilty, he also says that my loyalty and love for my 2 children will ruin my relationship and that I shouldn't sacrifice the whole family dynamic for them, im splitting the family up if I chose to leave.

I do not believe this is right, and I should leave this situation and relationship , but am I wrong?

Opinions please as I'm doubting what I should do.

Why have you waited so long to leave OP?
As their mum it’s your job to protect them but you’ve been letting your Boyfriend mistreat them!
Keep them in their bedrooms ! Not allow them to be with “his family”
Don’t you see how abusive this situation is ?

Sorry OP but you should move out. It was a massive leap for your partner to take on 3 other children and add another one together. I don't think you'll ever get the balance right, especially when special needs are involved.
I understand from a financial perspective it seemed to work for you but it's at the expense of your other DC's happiness and yours.

You absolutely have to leave. This is abusive for your kids. No matter how difficult he find their behaviour the way you describe him treating them is absolutely untenable. You need to leave as soon as possible.

You should of tested how it was going to go with the 5 of you together well before having another DC.
There is no choice but for the 5 of you to move out now, I hope you can manage that.

Keeps them in their bedrooms ?? Insults ?? Doesnt want them in the house ??

Are you seriously asking us if this is an acceptable and safe environment for your children (and yourself) to be in ?? Get your ducks in a row and leave as soon as possible......

Put your children first and move out. Yes it’s his house and his rules but he can’t be mean and alienate your children. They are kids and don’t deserve this.
This is not a family!
You know he is wrong, you know this whole situation is wrong. Be strong for your children and leave this man!

You are absolutely correct to think that this situation is very wrong. All of your children deserve better than this.
You definitely need to leave and make those two precious DCs and their siblings the centre of your attention. They deserve and need you to love and protect them as I'm sure you do.
Your (soon to be) ex is a very nasty piece of work.

My opinion is…yes leave. He despises your children, separates them and shouts at them. What more is there to say.

Yes you should leave. Do not subject your children to this any longer.

What an asshole. Is he abusive to you? I feel he may have put things in your head for you to even have to consider whether to stay.

I love my DH so much, but I would never hesitate to leave him and take our children with me if he ever acted like this, because there is simply no one that I love more than my kids.

Does he expect you to send your children to live elsewhere while you stay living with him? Is their dad involved with them?

Absolutely leave asap. How can you let a man treat your children like this and not despise him?

And as for his manipulative words - your loyalty to your children should absolutely come before your relationship with him.