Partner called me another woman's name...

[tm123x]

So I was just upstairs and I shouted down to my partner as I needed him to grab something for our son. He responds... "yes Luce". My names not Luce, but his colleague is. Am I right to be pissed off with this? He went red and apologised but can see I'm irritated.

Also a few weeks back I was texting him while he was at work. I think I went to write lol or something and it autocorrected to lucy. He immediately rang me and ask why I had written that. I'm now paranoid something is going on with this Lucy, or am I just being ott?

I think him just shouting a name back is fine, I do it regularly and end up calling my dh all sorts of names which he laughs off.

The phoning you because your text had Lucy in it is weird though. Most people would just reply with a question mark if they were confused and not actually phone.

I think I’d be suspicious too. I would definitely be on the lookout for any signs of cheating.

The replying with the wrong name might be innocent enough but phoning you when you wrote lucy not lol is odd. What did he say when you asked him why he was so bothered about it?

I wouldn’t like this at all.

i once read that if you call someone by another person’s name you consider that person of equal standing to the one you were calling.

eg. Family bonds or lovers and so forth

Oh dear my DM used to call me the cat's name. All the time.

The calling me by another name would not nowhere me, it's easily done. Calling u after the txt is a bit odd.

Hmm, very possible. I often call my boyfriends by the name of previous boyfriends but never by the name of my male friends or work colleagues.

Maybe he has to answer her at work a lot, so his brain just went straight to her name without thinking?

Yep it is suspicious behaviour with the two things together.

Put together, it does sound a bit odd.

I love my dog loads, but if it was a choice between my son or the dog, it would always be son first. That doesn't stop me calling him by the dogs name occasionally though. Mistakes happen.
Not sure how your autocorrect happened though, just tried it and even typing 'luc" in by mistake there would be a big list of luck variants on the list before getting to Lucy?
More likely you actually typed her name, because you were already wary and its preying on your mind- in other words you did a Freudian slip.
Only you know how their relationship looks, listen to your senses and notice any other signs, at the moment based on what you've said, its flimsy evidence.

Well cats are extremely important, in your mother’s defence 😂

So should he be hurt or assuming that something's going on or that you are wishing that you were with them?

@tm123x, I agree that put together, these incidents are suspicious. Especially concerning was his rapid response to question why you typed ‘Lucy.’ It sounds like he felt jumpy and paranoid.

You’ve written another recent thread about his utter selfishness. You have 3 young children under 4, including an infant, yet he is out for extended hours on weekends and through the week — football 1-5 on Saturday, practice once a week, and then the gym after work twice a week. He recently went back out with his friends after football and stayed until 2:00 a.m.

This entitled, self-serving guy is keeping the hours of a single person while leaving you to parent your very young children and tend to all the other responsibilities. He is treating you and the children with such disrespect and callous disregard, and you’ve been struggling. [Did you ever read him the riot act?] And now he’s acting suspicious about Lucy.

@tm123x, I would investigate his phone, statements, work bag, pockets, car, etc. You have the right to use your agency to learn about the status of your relationship.

I don't think you need to immediately be suspicious, it's probably because he's always using his name. I once called my boss mum 😳

I wouldn’t be happy be either event. All suspicious to me…

It's suspicious 100%

Yes suspicious behaviour regarding the phone call.

Neither. I was just replying to the post saying that when people call someone by someone’s else’s name, that someone else is of equal standing/ seen in a similar capacity as the person whose name they got wrong. Perhaps it’s to do what the way connections are made in the brain and the ‘categories’ where we put people)
This has certainly been the case for me (I call boyfriends by the name of ex boyfriends, friends by the name of other friends and work colleagues by the name of other colleagues, but not friends by the name of work colleagues, etc) but we’re all different so it doesn’t mean that it applies to everyone. Perhaps the husband spends a lot of times at work talking to Lucy to the point where his wife and Lucy are the 2 main women in his life and that’s why her name came up. Perhaps he has a more anxious nature and that’s why he called his wife when she texted ‘Lucy’ by mistake. Or maybe he fancies Lucy and in his brain she sits in the ‘sexual interest/ activity’ box as well as his wife. Who knows?

But ah, I just remembered something!! I came from a work trip once and found condoms in my partner’s wash bag (the bag he takes with him whenever he stays somewhere overnight). They were definitely not there before I went on my work trip and we were not using condoms. I thought he must have tidied up his stuff, found them in some drawer and put them in the wash bag, but when I asked him about the condoms he was simply unable to give me an explanation.
me: ‘’why are the condoms in your wash bag?
him: I took them out of my wash bag x time ago when we stopped using condoms
me: yes, I know that, but why did you put them back in your wash bag while I was away?
him: I took them out when we stopped using condoms.’’
We went round in circles for another 15 mins during which he called me by a different name. I have never heard him mention that name before. At the time I thought that he was coming up with random names because he was so flustered by my ‘accusations’ but now I wonder if the other name belongs to the woman who led him to put his condoms back in his wash bag.

Him saying Luce is like when kids call their teacher Mum which happens often.

With you the autocorrected to Lucy (which would be strange unless you type it a lot) suggests that perhaps you have form for accusing him if he felt he needed to ask why you typed that.

I hope nor I muddle my pets and dc names all the time.

I don't think he is necessarily up to anything. However she seems to be on his mind. She probably seems more fun as she's not chasing about after 3 children under 4. What job does he do? Is it just the two of them working together or are they part of a team?

I often mix up my youngest son and my sisters dogs name (girls name) - I think in my head it's because they're both the baby of the family haha.
I don't think the name thing is weird if he works with her a lot, although I suppose it depends how he reacts.

The phone call when you wrote the name is weird though.

Always listen to your gut. He may not be doing anything, but he likes ‘Luce’.

I remember doing that as a young kid! That was embarrassing. Thankfully no one accused me of wishing the teacher would adopt me.