Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cheating?

6 replies

Twotwinpeaks · 01/03/2024 00:43

This is a weird one. H has form for cheating in past relationships which I only found out about once married. So far no inkling of him cheating on me. Until today.

He’s been secretive with his phone for a while, closing the laptop when I come in, and being really awful to me. Shouting and snapping and telling me how much he finds me annoying/useless etc.

He speaks a bit of Urdu but not a lot. This is relevant. Today he was supposedly WFH finishing off a project which never got completed. I did quiz him around the progress of said task. He flew off the handle and said I’m pressuring him. On a whim I decided to check the internet history to see what he had been doing instead which was so important. I found these searches. See pics.

He’s been searching up an odd series of words over a long part of the day when he should have been working on a very unrelated project. (Ordering a new kitchen for our shared business.)

I showed him and he had no answer apart from being curious. The words aren’t out and out graphic but I feel they do follow an intimate pattern mostly. But on the other hand they aren’t totally innocent sounding when looked at collectively.

I did then ask to see his phone which he refused to do, saying I should trust him.

Is this suspicious?

I’m wondering if he’s chatting to people from his home country on dating apps as that’s how we met. I’m from the UK though.

PS. I don’t trust him and I know it’s time to call it quits but he’s gaslighting me and saying it’s all in my head.

Cheating?
Cheating?
OP posts:
bubblesforbreakfast · 01/03/2024 01:29

Sorry OP but it sounds like you're right :-( if there was an innocent explanation for those searches he would have offered it. X

Garlicnaan · 01/03/2024 01:37

Ew. Yeah it doesn't look good, sorry.

Obeast · 01/03/2024 01:39

'Shouting and snapping and telling me how much he finds me annoying/useless etc.'

Regardless of where he's been stuffing his penis, this is not a male fit for marriage. Raise your standards and get rid of this embarrassing chapter of your life.

MiriamMargolyezSausages · 01/03/2024 06:26

Wtf huski? Swollen stomach?
He is sexting or writing an erotic story in Urdu.

Twotwinpeaks · 01/03/2024 08:06

Sexting is my suspicion! @MiriamMargolyezSausages It’s a very odd choice of words to look up. I don’t think there can be any other explanation.

All the while the kitchen still needs ordering whilst he’s wooing OW! What a waster. 😲 He’s no literary genius so I know it won’t be erotic story writing.

It’s going up be a bloody hassle but I’m going to bin him.

OP posts:
MiriamMargolyezSausages · 01/03/2024 08:25

Yeah it's not that unusual that a person is avoiding 'stressful' tasks and responsibilities by escaping in porn or starting on affairs when life is stressful. It's like procrastinating in gaming or drinking when you should be facing deadlines or doing something important. So it sounds like when life has any challenge (and this is just a kitchen renovation challenge not like terminal cancer or home repossessed kind of challenge) he escapes in sex. His irritability and blaming you is classic addict abusive behaviour and projection.

Good luck

Sorry edited because it was irrrelevant and i see you have decided to bin him.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page