First love

[Desolate2nite]

I know I'll get roasted but here goes.

Been talking to an old friend online for a while. Met for a drink last night, he says I was the love of his life etc. But then tells me he's married but life is too short to be unhappy blah blah.

He wants his cake and eat it doesn't he

Yep

Yes. And he perceives you as easy. He has no respect for you or your loved ones.

Yeah pretty much! Hes not going to leave his partner but wants to have some fun!

You don't say what your situation is but I agree that there is no point in going backwards in life.

Thank you for confirming what I knew. I've been single for 3 years after an abusive relationship. This guy is love bombing me I think

Why are you asking about what he wants? What about what you want? Do you want a fling with a married ex?

I don't know how to reply directly to people on here but no, I don't want an affair.
I think I just wanted people to confirm that I'm right in what I'm thinking. My boundaries are screwed lol

Do you think that your boundaries are your judgements of other people? If you do, that's probably why you're having relationship issues.

Yes you're probably right

He may actually be genuine in what he says, but what’s going on in his mind is not what matters - how could what he’s offering be of benefit to you?

Yes this could only end in heartbreak for me, plus I couldn't do that to another woman.
It was flattering but completely out of the question. Obviously I am starved of male attention lol

You are the love of his life until he sticks his dick in you then the script changes to my children need me, my wife needs me, im so confused, i cant divorce she wont let me see my children, the system is biased against women.

If you were really the love od his life he wouldn't have married her, he would have tried harder with you, he would have had more respect for you than to essential propose an affair like you're some cheap tart.
He is telling you what he thinks will persuade you to have sex with him. Don't prove the bastard right.

It's not flattering, he doesn't respect you or his wife. You should be angry he dared talk to you like this. Proposals and love confessions from married men aren't flattering they are sleazy and insulting.
This is the value he sees you, a potential side piece. And don't think for one minute he is only doing and saying this with you.

Did you know he was married when you started chatting to him, when you arranged to go out with him?

I know what you mean when you say it was flattering, but it was not the compliment you think it was. As others have said - he thinks you're an easy target so he is using some of the most worn-out lies to get you to sleep with him.

No, you were never the love of his life. Scumbag probably wouldn't know what love is even if he googled the definition of it.

You were just a woman sitting across from him at the table while he is looking to sleep with someone other than his wife. If you had no previous history then he would say he wished he met you sooner etc. Same purpose, different script.

“It's not flattering, he doesn't respect you or his wife. You should be angry he dared talk to you like this. Proposals and love confessions from married men aren't flattering they are sleazy and insulting.
This is the value he sees you, a potential side piece. And don't think for one minute he is only doing and saying this with you.”

This.

All true and no I didn't know he was married.
He is blocked now

The thing is, it's not even flattering because it comes from pond scum. His sort will say anything to get a leg over.

If anything it's insulting because he's saying he thinks you have no moral fibre whatsoever and will happily just go along with his bs.

I'd tell his wife, not even because she deserves to know, but because no one insults me like that without being taken down a peg or two.

Be very careful about telling anyone about past abuse btw, it draws in his sort to think 'she might be an easy target if she's been there before'.

Good Girl.

I do wish women would have the strength to say, who the fuck do you think I am, some idiot who is obsessed with dick and gets off by someone slagging their wife off.

What the hell have you got to offer me.

He really thought you were cheap to think a mm man could go fishing when he hasn't got the license yet.