Mum - possible narcissist possible dementia

[Flyhigher]

How do people cope with difficult mums?
My mum repeats everything a lot. Says same stock phrases. Says rhe same thing when I talk to her.

But if I repeat anything at all. She gets angry.

She tries to force points in me all the time.

But if you try to do it back then she explodes.

How did people cope?

This is such great advice. It the face of an attack which wounds its hard though. I have trained myself not to respond from a child and it damages a person. I cannot talk back or defend myself to anyone as a result.

I agree.

And the logical conclusion with NC - so that you are not exposed to any further abuse as well as seeking therapy to heal the hurt that is hindering the ability to function assertively in other relationships and situations.

Repressed rage erodes your being from the inside out.

yes, my mother is like this too. When I was younger I used to think we just sadly misunderstood each other. Once I had children she really went into overdrive with the criticism/switching her position to make sure I was ALWAYS in the wrong because she has this virtuous excuse (the supposed welfare of my children). She really overplayed her hand there. I began to realise she was an unhappy person whose only solace was in trying to make me feel as ill at ease/uncomfortable in my own skin/unconfident as she was. Once you realise this is their game it's easier simply to ignore and keep everything entirely pragmatic. No point having a conversation of any depth at all. This, ironically, gives them the excuse to claim you're not 'sensitive' and psychologically acute like they are but if you simply say nothing in response to the provocation they don't have much to work with.

Traits get exacerbated sometimes with age unfortunately I find.