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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Lap dances

7 replies

TheDearPearlFinch · 29/02/2024 16:27

Me and my partner have been together for 10 years. We have a 3 year old together. A couple weeks ago he went out to a hockey game with work friends. I was also in the area with my aunt and we were supposed to meet up and relieve the grandma the babysitter around 12. After the game he called and said he was going to the Irish pub. My aunt said I should join but I wanted him to have his time because he doesn't get out much. I couldn't get a hold of him for a hour and a bit and finally met up with him and we went home. He was super depressed the next two days and just wanted to sleep. Well, turns out that he bought a bottle of vodka at the hockey game for himself and they were drinking beers. His friends kept begging him to come to the strip club and he said no but then caved in. One of the friends had drugs ❄️ that he hasn't used in many Many years. They drank bottles at the club but then he got private dances. Multiple dances totaling $900. It's a higher end strip joint but one of the dances would have been 30 minutes. It just kills me. He's been crying going to therepy telling me he loves me and just wanting to hold me. I have been non stop crying. I'm self conscious of myself and I feel like he just killed me. Why spend that when I was waiting for you? Why drink and do the other stuff. All I can see in my head constantly is a girl all over him for long periods.
We have a kid and had a good relationship. I was honestly so shocked I wouldn't have guessed. I feel so gross and unwanted.

OP posts:
Stressyfab · 29/02/2024 16:36

Scummy, take it as a sign to focus on what you want OP

MumDaisy1980 · 29/02/2024 16:41

tell him is your turn to go watch your private show magic mike . Same expense.

NotestoSelf · 29/02/2024 16:45

If my husband thought that the use of women's bodies were purchasable, that would be the end of our marriage.

Pinkie89 · 29/02/2024 16:46

Yuck! This would seriously give me the ick. I see it as a form of cheating.

Opentooffers · 29/02/2024 18:04

I hope he spends a lot more than £900 on therapy. He's got a few issues wrapped up in this to sort - alcohol abuse mixed with stupidity ( a bottle of vodka! He wasn't drinking for pleasant flavour, he was aiming to get totalled doing that) Drug use - what drugs are we talking here? And probably blaming the lapdance on the 2 things rather than taking responsibility. He's done a lot for someone who only went missing for an hour!
Another thing is doing all that as a parent and going home to DC's after with an assumption you'd pick up the slack, probably without being asked if you would.

Catoo · 29/02/2024 18:05

Is there enough time to spend $900 on lap dances in a couple of hours?

Sorry OP. 💐

anotherdisaster · 01/03/2024 13:21

How old is he? He doesn't sound very responsible or mature if he can't say no to his friends. Adults are not forced to go to lapdance bars and take drugs.

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