Shall I propose or not?

[SongBirdKate]

It is 29th February and the day when the female of the species can ask the male in her life to marry her .............. and I have been thinking long and hard over the last few weeks whether I should - or not ...........

The day has dawned and I still am no nearer to an answer.
Any thoughts would be so helpful.
So you know ... I am in my very late 60's. My other half and I have been together of over a decade - he is 12 years younger than me and still working. I am retired. He has a daughter, I have three sons.
We are very happy together but I feel that marriage would give us a firmer base for our relationship - also I have heard that if either of us was hospitalised, the other would not have automatic right to visit as we are not each other's next of kin.
Any words of wisdom would be gratefully received
Thank you

Go for it!! Life is for living, marry the man you love ❤️

Why not! Bugger the day, if you want to ask him ask him. I hope it's a yes ❤️

Go for it!!

I did it 32 years ago - still married (and he hasn’t got any better at being proactive about stuff 🙄)

The only question is: do you want to marry him?

Only you can answer that one. If it's yes, ask him. If it's no, don't!

You can propose on other dates too though if you're still undecided 😉

If you want. Here's the other differences between marriage and just being legally single -

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/living-together-and-marriage-legal-differences/

Same here. If I had waited for DH I would still be waiting now and we too have been married over 30 years. DH very happy to be married just didn't want to do the whole proposing but.

You know - you are allowed to propose on any day, really....
But if you need a formal excuse - today is as good a day as any.

What do you have to lose? Propose!

Thank you for all your comments .........

"What if he says no" is what the imp on my shoulder keeps asking and I guess that is what is worrying me most.

I think the whole Feb 29th thing is that if you propose on the 29th (as opposed to any other day) they aren't allowed to refuse...

Well he says no, he says no! It's not the end of the world, only you can decide if it is a deal breaker.

I'm gonna go against the grain here. If you're only concern is "should a woman propose" then absolutely go for it. but that doesn't seem the case. it seems you're trying to logic yourself into this engagement and marriage isn't a thing you can logic your way into. Do you truely love him? do you want to spend every day for the rest of your life together? do you want to stand in front of the world and the govt and say this is the man i am committing myself to?

Also your concern that he may say no flags red too. have you guys discussed getting married? A proposal should be a surprise but an engagement shouldn't be. it should take place when both partners are definitely on the same page.

I’m going to be that person and ask if financially there is any risk, such as do you own a house outright for instance and he has nothing at all. Sorry to be that person but my widowed sister remarried and without going in to detail has messed up financially.

Just to be a party pooper - clearly different circumstances too..

I asked 11 years ago today, he reluctantly said yes and we got married on my 40th; kids were 3 and 1. We were perfectly fine beforehand, together 6 years pre-kids but post 6 weeks of marriage everything went tits up and we split.

Quite a few regrets now! We get on but I wish I hadn’t now…

Then you carry on as before. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

I did, on a previous leap year. He said yes! He also said he would have got around to it eventually....!

I think I would sound him out before proposing. Have you ever discussed marriage? Or just go for it and see what happens…

Do it! Why not?

Marriage later on in life is always a tricky one because as soon as you are married the inheritance rules change, so whereas your DC's would inherit what you have prior, after, your spouse would inherit instead.
If you've made contingencies for all that and happy with it, then that's fine. Just as long as you have considered it. Worth a thought though, that if he says no, it might not be for personal reasons, more financial.

Did you do it, OP?

I proposed on 29/2/16 - we married that June and are still very much together! Not the first marriage for either and we are both in our 50s.

So OP did you?