So.... I am just going to write everything that happened down. I don't know that I am asking any questions but I need an outlet as I don't have many friends and family to speak to.
I sat him down calmly that evening and said 'I know about XXXX' and I know because I saw her name, you lied and then I checked your messages. (what I didn't do is say I only saw one photo)
He had no where to hide with it. I asked to see his phone, he willingly handed it over, apologising etc. I read all the messages, saw all the pictures she had sent (explicit ones included) all of his 'encouraging' comments to her.
The Facts:
He does not know this person, has never met her.
He follows some stupid pages on Facebook like ''Margot Robbie appreciation page...'' and on this page women post photos of themselves looking like Margot Robbie (sort of) and ask men for comments, assuming they are gathering only fans subscriptions etc. He commented on one ladies picture and she messaged him back and that's how it started. He showed me, I know this to be a fact.
She messages things like, I am not very confident so just trying to be more body positive. He messages things like 'well the picture I have seen is great, I would love to see more' and it goes from there.
In the two weeks, he messages her a few times, she messages him pictures a few times, its not every day. There is zero exchange of personal details, no general chit chat, its just 'here's my pic, do you like it and him going yeah I do you look really sexy etc' The only personal thing in the thread is she asks if he has a partner and he says yes and how much he loves me and will always be faithful to me etc......
The feelings bit:
I explained how this level of interaction with a women is completely unacceptable to me and how hurt I feel. He acknowledges 100% he is in the wrong and also accepts that he knew this breaking boundary would be something I wasn't comfortable with. He is definitely devastated to hurt me,
He said he did it because its quite flattering to have a woman send pictures, he said how he feels its a bit pathetic but 100% she means nothing to him, they are not running off together, they dont know anything about each other. It was more like looking at porn but someone was sending it to him
I do not have a problem with porn, him looking a pretty actresses etc these are not my boundary, my boundary is when you have an ACTUAL INTERACTION with someone of the opposite sex.
I am hurt, bruised, wounded and just not making any rash decisions because he hasn't actually cheated but he has hurt my feelings quite badly.