Have you ever struggled to get over something your partner has done?

[Batima]

Has anyone really struggled to get over something your partner has done? Something that you just don't understand, or that you feel is unreasonable/ selfish/ hurtful? Have you struggled to forget it and move on?

If so, what was it?

I remember your post op, and he is not a good man.

You say that he's upset you loads in your 1.5 years of marriage. That isn't normal. You're in the honeymoon period. The most romantic part of your married life.

Ask yourself - does this man show you respect all the time? Does he support you, encourage you, show you he's proud of you, treat you as his equal, respect your opinions? Listen to you and sometimes change his own mind based on what you've said?

From your previous thread he comes across as controlling, and unkind, and as though he thinks he's in charge and you should do as you're told. As though he enjoys making life hard for you, for a bit of sport or to show you who's boss.

PLease talk to your lovely parents about how he really is. If my daughter was in your position, I hope and pray she would talk to me about it so I could help.

Walking away after 1.5 years of marriage would be so much easier than walking away after 5 years, 15 years, children etc.

Started labour in hospital aged 22. Asked the hospital to phone my husband to come in. He arrived hours later as his mum was cooking Sunday roast and told him he had plenty of time. Roast potatoes came first! I gave birth alone. Should have said now ex husband.

Not like some of the abusive examples here, but my DP asked me to pick up from dinner on my way home from the hospice where I’d just watched my mother die.

(In defence, it was lockdown, we had two small DC at home, getting dinner wasn’t easy. But despite an apology I have never gotten over it and don’t think I ever will)

@perfectcolourfound This. Exactly this.

I remember your post about this, OP. I remember thinking I wouldn't stay with a man like that. There is no kindness in him, no consideration and no sense of family. He sounded utterly cruel and if anyone is cruel to my family then I don't want to know them.

@Batima

my mam and my daughter are the most important people I'm the world to me. I would definitely struggle to get over any disrespect towards them.

You husband should respect them because they are important to you

@Batima

I remember the details of that thread and hope you are taking all the advice given to you in board and not invest much more in a relationship where you're being bullied and disregarded by this ungrateful man. 🌹

Caused me to go into premature labour due to the amount of stress his behaviour during my pregnancy put me under. Then held his prem dc and swore on their life that he wasn't cheating...while having an affair with his best friends wife! Called me " mental etc when I suffered with postnatal depression and told me i was an unfit mother and my kids hated me! Been divorced 12 years now, it was the best thing i ever did!

I remember your post and that he emailed your parents not to come… which I thought was a step too far

A lot of these posts show downright cruelty but the most absurd must go to tel12...his mum was cooking Sunday dinner,that's just taking the piss.

Found out My exh when we were dating slept with someone we both worked with on a course they were on. I couldn’t forgive him once I found out 2 years into our marriage.

Wtf!

Not me, but my Dsis got married and a week later our dad died, very suddenly and unexpectedly. At the funeral she was in bits. As we were leaving the crematorium, new BIL came over to us to say goodbye. I asked DSIS whether he was meeting us at the wake. She told me no, he was leaving to go away for the weekend for the wedding of a work colleague. They split up ten years later but she said she knew that day that she’d made a mistake marrying him and never got over his abandonment when she needed him most.

That's truly awful that he put eating a roast before your labour @Tel12 .

@iamwhatiam23 that's awful and I'm glad you're out of it.

@Rainallnight that's very insensitive and I'm sorry about your mum. I do hope nothing like that ever happened again.

It does seem like a lot of really bad examples are from when women are pregnant, which is scary. I wonder why that is.