Has anyone's relationship ended due to snoring issues?

[nnaammeecchhaannggee99]

My partner snores.

We have been together for 3 years and don't live together. I can't see us ever living together due to his snoring. It is a long distance relationship currently, 100 miles apart. We see each other most weekends for 2-3 nights.

I would love us to live together in the future but I honestly can't imagine how it would work unless we have separate rooms.

I know separate rooms work for some people, but not me. Plus, not sure we could afford to have a spare room just for that reason.

It has definitely got worse over the last 2 years. It used to be occasional and a quick tap on the shoulder would stop it.

Now it is more often than not, louder, and a tap on the shoulder gives me about 15 seconds of respite before it starts again.

Even waking him fully, he turns over, is asleep and snoring again within 2 minutes.

I wear Mack's foam earplugs for snoring. These are the best I've found so far but they don't block it out completely.

It is a touchy subject for both of us so we haven't really talked about it properly, and I know we need to.

I am just worried that he won't do anything about it and it will be the end for us.

We are both around 50.

Is there hope? This is making me so sad.

Separate rooms here!

We go to bed together and cuddle up watch TV, chat, sex etc but when he invariably wants to go to sleep he goes to the other room. If we both do fall asleep once he wakes me up I wake him up and he goes off to the other room.

We are both much happier and nicer when we are getting enough sleep.

If you're not wanting separate rooms it won't work. Sorry. Why not have a big bed to yourself and sleep well? Even if that means he's on the sofa bed downstairs

If you enjoy his company it can work but you will need to sleep separately as snoring is just far too annoying

We’ve been married for 16 years. Because we have slept on our own for about the last 8.
I love him to death. But I can’t sleep in the same room as him.
We are as close as can be. I don’t feel we miss out by not spending 8 hours comatose together in the same space.
If you won’t sleep apart (why? Can you verbalise why not?) and you’re not sleeping together then it’s not going to work. Seems like a silly reason to end a relationship that’s good. in my opinion. It’s an easy fix. Sleep is essential for life.

It didn't end my marriage but it contributed towards its demise, definitely. Because it marked the point where we had to sleep separately, or I'd be laid awake and unable to cope with life in the daytime. I'm sure mine had undiagnosed sleep apnoea, and part of the annoyance was him completely refusing to go to the doctor's and seek help with it/the snoring.

Are they overweight? A smoker? It can actually increase the chances of heart attacks and I think high blood pressure or something else maybe, it's no joke.

Just noticed he's "touchy" about it. Are you allowed to air opinions in this relationship? Is he offended when he feels he's in the wrong? Does he actively want you to have a shit nights sleep instead of looking into sorting it like an adult? Yeah, it can end relationships if that is the case..

Quies wax earplugs that completely mould to the inside of you ears are amazing

I can’t hear anything and it’s now his responsibility if there is an issue like dog needs a wee etc as a trade off for me not sleeping for years and had enough

they are very good

My husband is a nightly snorer! And he is getting worse these days too.

For my own sanity, either I, or he, sleeps in a spare room once every week or so. It really is the only solution sometimes.

Although, never once, have I even considered breaking up over it. For context, we've been together for 10 years, lived together 3 and married for around 18 months.

I used a mindfulness method once, that helped me convince myself his snoring was a breathing guide.. I literally used his gremlin sound effects to steady my breath. It actually worked for a little while!! Then I got pregnant, and I just boot him him the leg with violence now. Perhaps I'll go back to the mindfulness when this baby is out of me 👀😂👀😂👀😂👀.

If you love the guy OP, don't let snoring get in the way x

This.
You should give these earplugs a go.

This! I use an eye mask with built in speakers with white noise. If the kids need something or the cat… sorry it’s on you. My husband has polyps and nhs won’t fix them.

I hated staying over with my partner when we first met as his snoring is horrendous and would often end up sleeping on the sofa. I used to sleep listening to audio books on my phone, but he could never cope with the noise from it.

We now live together, and he still snores. But I bought some earphones suitable for sleeping in and listen to audio books overnight. Now I rarely hear him snoring, and he doesn't hear my audio book, but we manage to sleep in the same room😀

We didn't break up over that, various other reasons, but I remember so vividly the first night I slept in my new little house after I'd moved out of his, I remember waking up in the same position I'd fallen asleep, the quilts still all nice and in the right place, feeling so incredibly rested and lovely, it was such an eye opener!

genuinely I would consider separate rooms or if that's not viable, an audiobook in headphones as pp said. My current H snores occasionally and it works very well.

Bulees Sleep Earphones for side... www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08343DPDM?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

These ones

He should see a doctor and do a sleep study in case he has sleep apnoea. My dh did get diagnosed and now uses a CPAP machine and the snoring has stopped.

Just been in similar situation with now ex fiance of 3 years. The snoring was so unbearable, caused arguments and he would not go to the drs as apparently had tried everything and only an operation would work. Anyway crunch came after barely any sleep one night, when I realised this means no holidays anymore or travelling. As I just got to a point I couldn’t put up with it and no longer see a future I thought I had with him.
I am still loving every night of climbing into bed without feeling anxious as to how I will get through the night. My sleep is paramount and I will no longer put up being a zombie and turning into a dragon and snappy.
Something had to change and as we lived separately going our separate ways at night felt like our relationship was going backwards and created a big divide.
Just do whatever makes you happy 😊

Has he spoken to GP about it? Has he put on weight? DH's snoring was driving me demented. He got a nasal spray from the GP, which helped, but what really sorted it was losing weight. He wasn't massively overweight, but the extra weight on his neck meant he was snoring all the time.

You need to talk to him about it properly and calmly about figuring out and tackling to root cause of his snoring.

This is exactly what we do too

We didn't split but did end up in separate rooms. It was OK when we got married but over the years got worse and worse until I dreaded going to bed. He didn't want us to sleep apart so for far too long I'd stay beside him waiting for the snoring to start and then go to the spare room, eventually I realised I was depriving myself of sleep and relaxation to facilitate a man who wouldn't do anything about his snoring so I redecorated the spare room and moved in there, the snoring continued and he was always exhausted so eventually went to the gp, sleep apnea was diagnosed and he uses a cpap machine now, it's silent, he's silent and we can sleep together again (but I still like to stretch out in my double bed all alone occasionally). Get him to see a gp.

What kind are your earphones @Faz469 ?

Would recommend Loop earplugs.,
DP is a snorer, these def help.

I'm the snorer, apparently not loud but my dp is a light sleeper. Ear plugs always pop out of his ears. Tried a few things but I snore mainly through the mouth so now I wear a kind of mouth tape. It looks ridiculous but I cant snore through my nose alone. I think anyone who snores that isn't willing to try everything they can to stop the snoring is very selfish.

@Batima I posted the link above but they're these ones

Bulees Sleep Earphones for side... www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08343DPDM?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

I'm 55, partner is 53 and separate beds and rooms were the only thing that totally worked for us.

We've been together for 15 years and I coped more or less with his snoring until I hit 50. Lovely menopausal hot flushes and muscle aches meant I was getting at best 4 hours sleep a night...and how I didn't end up on a murder charge is beyond me!

In the end, after another night with virtually no sleep, I had a massive breakdown and told him we were getting a sofa bed in the living room and when he visits (he works 200 miles away, we don't live together) he was using it.

That was nearly 5 years ago and it works well...even though his snoring is now so bad I can still hear it, even at a distance!

same here too. it works a treat!

My fiancee is a snorer and it’s so loud. He has not always been like that but only this year he started to snore more often. Thanks haven for the spare room. Nothing wrong with sleeping in separate room when one is a snorer. We always go to bed together, cuddle or watch TV and fall asleep together. If he starts to snore, then I would move to the other room. It works well for us.

Mine is similarly touchy. I understand that it’s not something he can control but we have had rows and he’s sleeping in the spare room for now.

he snores lying on his side with his mouth closed. He’s not overweight, and I can only assume it’s some sort of physical issue (he has a short tongue, gets colds a lot, sinus pain too, maybe one of those is the cause)

holidays are a worry when we end up in a hotel room. In this country we often get a cabin or flat with two rooms.

it particularly annoys me as he has private medical insurance and I would like him to get checked out by ENT.