38 now. Spent ages 18 to 21 with the same person who I genuinely believe is the only one who ever really ‘got’ me. I had undiagnosed ASD at the time and had some serious mental health issues, not to mention me having a meltdown whenever I had a drink, and he was literally just… there… caring, kind, took it all in his stride and never judged me one bit.
Knew each other from school and college and then got together after he pinched my bum in a nightclub. Went to uni in the same city and in the holidays he pretty much lived in my family home due to his own relationship with his family.
I loved that boy, like literally loved and adored him. But due to my own upbringing it was the first real love I ever really felt and yet I still felt it wasn’t enough. He graduated the year before me and was in a dead end job with all these dreams that he wasn’t following, when I then graduated I felt I was too much worldly wise and I ended it as I felt there was more out there. How absolutely stupid I was.
I quickly realised I’d made a mistake and asked for him to reconsider but he’d already met the woman he then married. As far as I know they’re still married but last time I saw him accidentally (3 years?) they were having massive problems. He works in my town but has no social media and even the old friends who I still have don’t have any clue where his life is at now - after he met her he apparently had one last night out then disappeared entirely.
My Love life since has been a complete and total disaster. An awful abusive relationship for most of my 20s and the most recent serious one was a serial cheat. I wish I’d never ever broken up with my first love as I feel we’d have been settled all of these years. I know there’s no use pining but I just can’t get over him after all this time.
Thanks for reading this far, just needed to write it down I guess!