My mothers odd belief system

[MrsCurmudgeon]

I was out walking the dog this morning on a huge beach. There was a single magpie and I had a weird panicky sensation. I was suddenly reminded of my Mum losing her shit if she couldn't see a second one.

She would be in an absolutely foul mood all day and basically cause the 'sorrow' herself by starting an argument or breaking things in her temper making it a self-fulfilling prophesy. She would decide the day was ruined and just lean into it by being violent, aggressive and nastily short-tempered all day. We would have to be on eggshells because if you set her off there was hell to pay. The fallout was huge, prom dresses ripped in rage, longed-for event dates canceled. woe betide if you had to ask for something on a magpie day because all bets were off.

If I see one - I get a sudden panicky sensation but then say to myself that if I see a single magpie, even if I can't see one right now, there are always two and go on with my day.

I currently have a terrible set of mouth ulcers after some dental surgery and I keep having this feeling of being uncountably guilty, you know that feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach that you are in trouble? - It took me a moment to remember where the feeling originated from.

When I was about 13 my mother sat me down in that 'you are in trouble and we are going to have a talk way' and explained that she heard me mention I had a mouth ulcer. She angrily informed me it was because I had lied about something and you only get ulcers or sores on your tongue if you had told a massive lie.

She then hounded me to tell her what I had lied about and when I tearfully explained there was no lie she grounded me for lying about lying. Each day she would ask me to tell her the truth, there would be no consequences. So I would, that there was really no lie and she would ground me another day again for lying - until I broke after a few weeks and told her a made-up lie to break the chain of events and then she grounded me for a month for lying the first time. Sigh. (there was genuinely no lie - I was a shy friendless bookworm)

Sorry for that random stream of consciousness. The magpie and the ulcers happening on the same day just brought this to the forefront of my memory and the fact they made me have a visceral reaction even though it was decades ago made me feel the need to write it down to get it off my chest

Unfortunately your mother had poor mental health and was somewhat abusive to you. The magpies and ulcer/lying beliefs were just symptoms of her mental health problems, and she clearly chose not to seek help. In cases like this you can only hope there are other adults who can see what is going on and insist help is sought, but in your case this didn't happen .

Her mother was not 'quirky', she was abusive. Good lord.

I'm trying to understand how you'd mix up the words quirky and abusive.

They're nearly at opposite ends of the dictionary and aren't similar so it's really puzzling.

But I can only assume you meant abusive.

Unless you are "quirky" in the way ops mother is quirky too.

*She angrily informed me it was because I had lied about something and you only get ulcers or sores on your tongue if you had told a massive lie.

She then hounded me to tell her what I had lied about and when I tearfully explained there was no lie she grounded me for lying about lying. Each day she would ask me to tell her the truth, there would be no consequences. So I would, that there was really no lie and she would ground me another day again for lying - until I broke after a few weeks and told her a made-up lie to break the chain of events and then she grounded me for a month for lying the first time. Sigh. (there was genuinely no lie - I was a shy friendless bookworm)*

Your mother is a bat shit child abuser.

I know you're low contact but if she ever arranges to.do anything, I'd phone her at short notice and tell her you've just seen one magpie and can't risk going out. She definitely fkg deserves it.

She sounds unhinged. I had a similar father and grandmother.
It never leaves you no matter how hard you try.

She sounds horribly abusive. Many people have a fee superstitions but they are nothing more that a habitual comment...or the odd quirk....I catch myself telling my kids not to put new shoes on the table for bad luck because my Mum used to say it. I don't believe it but can't seem to break the habit. However, they way your mother behaved was deeply unpleasant and cruel. I'm sorry you had to put up with that. Sorry you've got an ulcer too, they are unpleasant.

My friend was like this op. She would panic if she saw a single magpie and would ask us to break her sorrow with our pinkies, we did because we knew she would be in a state all day.