Do teenagers often think their parents dislike them?

[JustWonderingThis]

And if it’s not true, when do they realise it’s not true?

I adore my teen and she very well knows it. I always have her back and there is literally nothing in the world I don't (or wouldn't) do for her.

Not all teens have bad relationships with their parents. 🤷‍♀️

My parents disliked me as a teenager but I knew they loved me.

It was an extremely difficult, trying time for all of us. They did their best.

I never thought my parents disliked my but I don't assume my teenager thinks anything either way they are entitled to their own feelings

But we have the children and parents we are born with where we choose friends, so I presume most (sadly we can't say all) parents love their children but how can 100% like their children/parents when it is a lottery of being with each other where we choose friends we like and lose friends when we dont

You can love someone and still dislike them. I don’t know that mine is overly fussed on me even now and I’m in my 40s! I do know that she loves me unconditionally, but if we weren’t mother and daughter I don’t know that we’d be friends.

When I was a teenager she put me down a lot and, I think, was trying to keep me close at hand/on a short leash. She admits to being the jealous type. She hated me getting close to friends’ or boyfriends’ mothers and used to say mean things. I’m like her in some ways but she has a much more highly developed sense of duty (martyrdom!) than I do and hated the fact that I left my home town at 18 and never gave a second thought to ever coming back on a permanent basis.

My parents regarded me and my sisters with disdain, I'm not sure why they had dcs. I have one brother who was adored and was their 'great hope for the future'.

In return I regarded them with contempt from about 8yo until they died. My views were accurate.

On the other hand, my dc knows I love him because I tell him every day. We like each other, have conversations, spend time together. He knows I have his back. He helps me where he can. He's a mid-teen with all that brings but generally we get on well.
I know it matters to him that I have complete faith in his sense and his academic abilities, that he will do well, that I value his opinion. But also that I will support him when he wants me to. It gives him confidence.

Mine never thought I don’t like them as I am a bit of an annoying mum in that I am overly invested 😂
They don’t really seem to like me very much though but what changed was maturity and also them realising they do need/want me around and I am helpful.
Mine were better at spinning it round on me to make me feel unloved when they didn’t want to help me in the house than they ever pulled the trick on me that I didn’t like them - honestly their egos must be massive 😂

I knew my parents loved me. I just thought they didn't understand me or the world in those days.
My dc know they are loved though I have had "you don't love me" thrown at me. Where I've responded "if I didn't love you, I wouldn't care about you and I wouldn't bother telling you off. It's because I love you that I'm saying this..." etc.

I have had a really hard time with my teenager I mean really hard . Many things he does /does not do.i hate . I love him but i don't like how he is . I do not tell him that though. Everyday I tell him I love him . On a really bad day I did not. And he did notice.

My 13dd knows I like her, love her, try my best to help her in all situations. She tells me way more than I think most teens would tell their mum. Sometimes I don't feel qualified.

I never say "I love you but don't like you" but I do say she's doing my head in, is being rude, messy, spoilt or a brat.

My mum never once told me she loved me, repeatedly told me what a disappointment I was and regularly talked about "putting me in a home"; so I guess it depends on the parent.

I was a horrendous teen. Got kicked out of school, ran away from home, felt no one understood me, etc. To be fair, I don't think my parents did understand me (I didn't really understand myself at that age!). However, I always knew I was loved. It makes a difference.

My own DC were incredibly easy. I was braced for the difficult teens and they never really had them! I think it helped that I genuinely liked them as people in their own right at every stage of their childhood, not just loved them. And I still tell them I love them every day.

I get the impression from this thread that most people don’t change their minds. If teenagers believe their parents dislike them the feeling will usually last.
I don’t entirely understand how you can love but not like people on a long-term basis.
Thanks for all the interesting answers.

Yeah so my parents didn’t like me much and I didn’t like them
forever telling me I was a pain and annoying
I don’t really like them still to this day
we aren’t close

this made me seem to become slightly obsessed with having happy loved kids so I have gone OTT with making it VERY clear I love them. If I am not happy with something they do or say I don’t let them get away with it but I still express love. I really do love my kids like in a bonkers intense way. Probably too much - they complain. I love being a mum and I love them even when they are little shits too.

Perhaps some people don’t feel as fulfilled by parenting - which is common and not abnormal but this can become obvious to the DC who pick up on it. I don’t know it’s so hard I don’t want to judge anyone. I know I had PND and it affected my bond with DC1 I had to do a LOT of work to bring it back because I was distant. People can have things happen to them in their lives which means it’s difficult for them to express love in the same way as others

I'm not sure tbh. I'm mid 30s now and have thought a lot about it.

My mum had a really awful childhood where physical violence was normalised. The fact she broke that pattern was an amazing show of love in itself.

Add to that she was going through a very stressful time when I was growing up - financial worries, caring responsibilities, my sister being very close to going off the rails. She was putting all her effort into keeping control, and I was the "good kid" she was supposed to be able to rely on to be easy, but I was still a kid.

I guess I've grown up and realised my Mum is just another human. She was doing the best she could at the time, and I accept that. She's much happier now and our relationship has recovered.