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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Need advice

1 reply

CLJ93 · 26/02/2024 01:24

I’m new to hear, I’m looking for advice on my current situation, sometimes it’s easier to have views from strangers than the people closest to me.

Ive been in a relationship for the past 18 months, it was a very fast paced starting relationship we went on trips away, we spent every weekend together, most evenings etc and he met my child (we did know Each other briefly before the relationship began so he already had met my child in social situations). Anyway when we first started talking he told me he was starting to grow feelings for me after a few weeks of intense talking every day, I was beginning to feel the same we met up a few times for coffees, lunch etc just the two of us before we actually got together he mentioned his age to me when we first met and was worried he would be too old as he told me he was 15 years older than me and to this day I’ve never questioned it, however it has come to my attention that he is actually 20 years older than me and he is unaware I know this already as I’ve not approached the situation due to there being some other complications going on within the relationship. The last 5-6 weeks we have hardly saw each other, communication has been minimal and I just don’t know what to do, when I approach it with him he says he just needs time to sort stuff out he has going on with his kids (both adults 20 & 23). He will then say he doesn’t want us to be over but right now he doesn’t know where his life is heading financially etc, I’ve tried to reassure him and support him but I feel like he’s pushing me away more and more, now I know he’s lied to me about his age too I don’t know how we can build the trust back up or if there is any trust to even be built back up.
does this make any sense ?!
if he can lie about his age then what else has he lied about, also how do I approach the situation?! I’m such a soft heart person I don’t deal with conflict very well so feel like I try and just avoid it where possible.
please help 🙃

OP posts:
Picklestop · 26/02/2024 01:43

Just dump. It is too much of an age gap even if it were only 15.

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