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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mother’s Day - AIBU?

4 replies

Loyallyreserved · 26/02/2024 01:08

Background to situation:
My parents have always played my sister and I off against each other since we were small children, which has lead to an unhealthy relationship. My sister lost her DP 2 years ago after suffering with cancer for 7 months, which resulted in her drinking excessively and taking drugs. They had a DS who was 14 at the time.
my DH and I stepped in to help and support as we could clearly see she was not coping unfortunately this led to a lot of bitterness from my sister and since her DP death cut me off. My parents supported her in this.

The situation now is that my parents are closer to my sister than to me, and my mother is being selective on what she says to me about what she does with my sister.

From my perspective her relationship with her children is how she wants it. I may not like the fact that she’s secretive but that’s how she is. My DH often asks why my mother is underhand to which I have no answer.

I’m now planning what to do for Mother’s Day and other than giving a present and visiting I don’t wish to do anything else - AIBU?

OP posts:
LondonWasps · 26/02/2024 01:10

Giving a present and visiting…
What else is there, really?! 🤷🏻‍♀️

TotalDramarama24 · 26/02/2024 01:20

I think that giving a present and visiting is what people do when they have a good relationship with their mother, so if you think this will make her rethink her attitude towards you or realise you are upset then you might be disappointed.

WandaWonder · 26/02/2024 01:40

What else is there to do?

TotalDramarama24 · 26/02/2024 01:58

Well there are lots of other things to do - take them out for lunch, host them for a meal, book a spa day or a weekend away, send a bouquet, go to a show (I'm seeing Back to the Future on Mother's Day), to name a few things. But visiting and taking a present is the usual thing to do, I would think.

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