The struggle of multi-dating OLD?! Help..

[Lalalouloulala]

Opinions on multi dating or dating one person at a time?

I’ve always ‘put all my eggs in one basket’ so to speak.

I find that if I’m interested in someone, I struggle to be interested in other people enough to talk to numerous people online dating. One will always stand out, and that’s who all my focus goes into until it doesn’t work out.

However, I’ve been on 2 dates with this guy and honestly, I really do see so much potential for it going somewhere really good. But, after the first date with this guy (guy one) I agreed to another first date with a second guy. Then, after my second date with guy one.. I’m contemplating cancelling this first date with guy two, as I’m really enjoying myself with guy one.

Friends advise is no, don’t put all my eggs into guy one as I still have a lot more to find out about him (which is true, it’s only been two dates!) and to go on this other date still.

I just feel like my mind set has already changed about guy two.. I could be wrong, and it might go well.. but then what?! Why do I find it so skin crawling the thought of dating two guys? I just don’t really see it topping how it’s going with guy one so far..

Would you cancel this first date with guy two, or go with it as it’s only early days still and I also feel bad letting him down..

I might regret not going if it doesn’t work out with guy one, cos I’ll never know! However it just makes me feel strange talking to two guys at once. If I wasn’t that into guy one, I don’t think it was bother me.. but it’s only been 2 dates.. hmm.

I know ultimately it’s my own choice. I just wanted opinions,

Arghhh dating..

Statistically speaking, neither one will likely work so I would say keep going until you decide to be exclusive with someone. You never know whether the next date will not be a flop and you’ll be back to square one. One or two of the men might just disappear before the next date.

This has just happened to me - date two with someone I was potentially going to see never materialised as they were taking 36 hours to respond to my messages regarding plans, and the other second date I have just been on after an encouraging first date was a complete disaster.

Put all your eggs in lots of different baskets. They will be doing the same. Don't commit too early or you’ll inevitably end up wasting your time. Until you’re exclusive you are very definitely NOT exclusive. Treat OLD as a chance to meet some people you otherwise wouldn’t have met, some of whom you get on well with, others not so much. You may meet someone else you like even more than these two. You may meet a couple of slow burners who don’t seem right at first but a date or two in suddenly seem like Brad Pitt. So relax, and enjoy the fun. If something more serious develops with one of them then great.

Ah, I remember dating more than one guy OLD, it's tricky, and sometimes it's just that you're not cut out for that style. Had date with one guy, which was good, then other guy, which was also good. Then saw other guy at mine - which lead to sex, though I kinda was more going along with it rather than up for it (bad idea to ever invite a man round, then expectations occur). Anyway, I made him leave as wasn't impressed, though he seemed to think he'd see me again, then went back to first guy- that lasted a couple of years, still on friendly terms. Hmm..I recall a lot of angst over which one for a while. First guy was a moment in time but neither were the answer. Sometimes 2 can muddy the waters. You've had more than 1 date with the first and you like him, perhaps you've not chatted long enough to either if you can't decide. Who's got best text banter could be one way?
I tend to chat to multiple, but then through that, the chat dries up or is better with one than another, so they get weeded out before meeting.

I chat to multiple. I'm not against dating multiple, but in practice, with logistical challenges, it often doesn't happen. But you're clearly not comfortable with it, so why would you fo something you're not comfortable with?

I wouldn’t cancel since it’s already arranged, and yeah two dates is way too soon to be ‘putting all your eggs in his basket’.

I’ve had lots of guys who are brilliant for 4-5 dates and then suddenly go cold/disappear (maybe because they were dating multiple women and found one they liked better).

I wouldn’t be getting my hopes up after just two dates anymore.

Don't cancel anything until you have met both of them few times and then decide which one (if any) you want to keep getting know more.
Don't put your eggs in one basket too early and don't let your interest in a person influence your decisions too early as early dates are all about getting to know the person, observing their actions and behaviour, finding out if they have the traits and qualities you are looking for, if they are compatible with you etc. Try to see the person for whom he is, not what you think/hope he is because of your feelings. Good luck and enjoy! 🙂

I tried multi dating and it was exhausting. One thing at a time.