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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

To be told to f### off by my husband and told i treat him like a c##t

8 replies

Sophie2024 · 25/02/2024 21:30

oh im livid 😡, his mental health has been in the gutter for years , plays the victim, iv made endless excuses for his behaviour ( he has had some deaths and stress over the years ) , ive supported him throughout and have now moved to help him , no im not perfect i dont claim to be , been having couples counselling for a few weeks , and i started my own counselling 3 weeks ago , ive been loving , suportive understanding , patient. I have been feeling really ill over the past few days , terrible headache and generally crap ( i rarely get ill )

Today i woke up with a headache again , house stinks of oil as boiler needs looking at , husband has been putting off having it looked at for months and months , so yes i did make a few comments for literally a few minutes about it , this annoyed me and i threw a mug in the sink which broke, no im not proud of myself but i was angry , put myself to bed and slept for 5 hours , came down to a angry crazy eyed man who put his hand up 🖐like dismissing me and told me to f##k off , said i treat him like a c##t

I was very clear and told him how dare he talk to me like that , and to apologise , told him to look at me in the eyes and who does he think he is talking to me like that , he said this is all your fault you've ended us bla bla , i thought no im not being spoken to like that and told him he is irrational , and his reaction is disproportial to the fact that prehaps i may have been a bitch today but seriously words hurt and said how would you like it if i put my hand up and told you to f##k off , but i wont as im not stooping to his level , i clearly said i have not and never will treat you like a c##t , i stated apologising and said yes its all my fault i take the blame if it makes you feel better , Seriously mans gone mad , i did point out that his behaviour towards me and all that ive had to cope with with his mental health over the past few years and i cant have a off day 😡2 weeks ago i was set to move out with kids but he convinced me to try again and i agreed to give it 6 months , im so cross with myself to allow him to treat me like this AGAIN , rant over

i am aware he has mental health issues , i am aware he has anger issue , i cannot help him anymore , im done

OP posts:
Temporaryname158 · 25/02/2024 21:35

Leave. This is not healthy for either of you

rumred · 25/02/2024 21:37

Get rid. Life is way too short for you both

FindingMeno · 25/02/2024 21:37

Aside from the relationship, if you've felt ill with a headache, and the boiler needs looking it, do you have a working carbon monoxide alarm?

nc42day · 25/02/2024 21:40

Get your children out of this poisonous atmosphere, nobody should be throwing mugs, nobody should be calling anyone a c&nt.

It's over. Time to behave like an adult, then at least one of you will be.

Opentooffers · 25/02/2024 21:55

So you've been supporting his MH issues for years, but somehow that the boiler hasn't been seen to is his fault when it bugs you more. Any reason you could not make a call to get the boiler looked at yourself? You seem to be waiting on him while being the one who notices it most.
Is there a backstory, is it his house so all decisions you default to him.
I can see how someone with MH problems would put a boiler being serviced to the bottom of their list of things to do in life.

ClareBlue · 25/02/2024 23:56

FindingMeno · 25/02/2024 21:37

Aside from the relationship, if you've felt ill with a headache, and the boiler needs looking it, do you have a working carbon monoxide alarm?

This is important OP for you and your family.
You need this checking out immediately.

ClareBlue · 26/02/2024 00:06

Smelling the fumes could indicate incomplete combustion which causes carbon monoxide. You can not smell or taste it but it builds up in your blood over time and will eventually put your life in danger. Tiredness, headaches and feeling unwell and sleepy can be signs of exposure. Get someone qualified to check it out and get a detector if you don't have one.
Then focus on what you are going to do with the relationship.

MonicaBingaling · 26/02/2024 00:17

Be careful the fumes could mean the boiler is harmful

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