Father sadly had to go into a care home last year - 2 strokes and dementia meant he no longer could be cared for at home
85yr old mother visits him 3 days a week, sister who lives nearby 3 days and me (I live 47 miles away) 1 day a week after work.
sister works in public sector, 9-3.30pm 30 weeks a year.
I work 8-9.5 hour days 47 weeks a year.
I'm 62 with three adult children and 5 grandchildren - my husband survived prostate cancer 18 months ago and has MS
sister (58) has one adult child and a retired husband.
I've dealt with meetings with my dads care team (eg CHC etc) and have directed decisions, researched care homes etc. I've taken and am happy to take annual leave for appointments and meetings.
Mother and sister periodically gang up on me for not doing enough. My sister controls the visiting - I think that she hasn't processed the fact my dad needs full time care and my mother feels guilty (worried about what people think).
It's not a situation we chose and it's very sad. I can only do what I can do.
I have other draws on my time including my children, grandchildren and my husband - on top of needing to take time to rest as my job's a bit full on.
I think that my sister needs to understand that my dad doesn't need to be visited every day and that she can take a day off.
I don't know how to deal with this situation and feel worthless. Does anyone else have a similar situation and how do you deal with it?
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