Dating Advice For Single Parent

[BLT81]

I’m a 42 year old single mum who is in the process of going through a divorce. However I am now ready to enter the dating scene again, though I do find it daunting and am seeking a bit of advice.
When I last dated internet dating was a thing but not apps, so I feel like I am entering a new world. What are the best ones for someone in my situation? Are there any other ideas aside for dating apps? My son is just about to turn 6 and I am co parenting him with my ex, though free time still appears to be at a premium! How do people navigate such situations?
Any advice would be gratefully received though maybe answered with another question!

Yes, be very aware of datig apps, other people claiming to be single when not

Be careful of the new guy claiming to be something but not

Be aware of financial questions as they may be after your money.

Good luck

Yeh, and do not sleep with somebody until after you've had the exclusivity chat. Try and figure out if they have friends / acquaintances that they'd introduce you to, or, are they keeping you compartmentalised. Do they only ever ring you during the day but text in the evening (when another partner might be around).

Are they really cagey about what their actual NAME is, are they mysteriously not on facebook?

My advice is to have a few years having loads of fun and nothing serious and find who you are again.
i managed to date a few guys and never used an app, single dads from school, through work, friends of friends etc
now im setttled with new dp but im so glad i had that time to myself

Thanks for advice. Yes def not ready to settle down again yet. This girl needs a bit of fun first 😂

Honestly I did it for a while and found it soul destroying. I turned my attention to myself, work, DC and having fun with friends and family.

Some people really like OLD I think it's bloody awful.

Date men your age or younger. The older men are just dire.

I'm 46. I've been separated for years. I've just dipped my toe in the water.

I chose a dating site because 2 of my single mum friends of similar ages had success on there. Met and settled down with decent blokes very quickly.

I wasn't so lucky. Found the dating pool to be very shallow. Matched with someone I'd been after anyway then he dumped after we slept together.

I've deleted the apps as one other app was full of weirdos I had to report or blokes that are still married.

I'm still talking to one bloke. We had a date lined up but I got too busy at work and had to reschedule also he's very cagey about sending me an up to date picture and is cagey about a few things. He's older than me and his profile was 5 years out of date so I'm thinking is it worth busting a gut to schedule a date?

With the other bloke the logistics did my head in and the guilt when I walked back in with my ex looking after the dc while I'd been out with someone else was wierd.

I asked my friends how they did it and they just keep telling me if it's meant to be you'll find a way but it's challenging!

I did 9 months of apps dating last year as a 38 old with a 3 and 6 yr old. It was my first time dating in 10 yrs.

My Advice -

Enjoy the process (if you can). I mainly found it pretty fun. Meeting people, going out, adult time for myself! I think being too focused on and end goal can quickly lead to disappointment and bitterness.

This is a journey of exploration for you. Each new date is new data on what you like or don’t. What you need or actually don’t need. In nearly every situation you find a gift - a conversation, learning something about yourself maybe even a song or book recommendation. I am honestly glad I had all the experiences I did (even though some were a little bumpy 😂)

Try and keep expectations low but have your own standards. If they aren’t met walk away.

Lots of messaging before meeting someone creates a fantasy in both sides that actually doesn’t translate in person. Be careful of this. Better to meet soon as possible. Also I love a voice note or a call as a voice so important.

Try and find a friend doing it as well. Well meaning married friends do not understand the crazy apps dating world. It makes it all so much more enjoyable when you you can laugh and commiserate with someone also doing it (and share lots of updates).

Be ready for lots of low level rejection. Remember this is nothing about you. It’s just their projections onto you. They don’t know you. Who knows what triggers them into their behaviour - and it’s not your problem or issue! Do not internalise it. Do not try and argue or change it. They’ve shown they ante right - thank you next. Abundance not scarcity mindset. You need to try and keep a strong sense of self confidence.

I probably went on 50 first dates!! I just wanted fun to start with but by the end was ready for something deeper and found that about 9 months in. I wouldn’t have worked out what I wanted or recognised it if I hadn’t gone through the process first.

good luck x