I've name changed.
Bit of back story, I (31F) never seem to have healthy relationships, I always pick the wrong guy and they end up cheating.
I have been in a relationship for the past year. We started seeing each other in February/March of last year. I was cautious as my previous relationship prior to this I was married. He cheated and I kicked him out and divorce followed. We have two children together (F5 and M4). We also had a stillborn baby boy who would have been 7 this year.
I met this latest piece of shit and took things slowly. He knew all about my previous relationship breakdown and the shit I had been through.
He also has three children. I am ND and have all kinds of weird behaviours that my ex husband used to shame me for. This new guy never did that, in fact he claimed it made him love me more. I had never felt so seen and understood by someone. I felt comfortable to be myself around him and opened myself up more and more, allowing myself to be completely vulnerable with him because it all felt so different.
We've had so many adventures in the short time we've been together. I'm a huge music fan so been to loads of gigs, festivals, camping holidays, hiking. He integrated himself into my life and I let him. He would essentially live with me half the week I didn't have the kids. We had discussed him moving in with me in the future.
Last week we spent a week together in Switzerland on holiday, had the best time, never felt more in love with someone. Fast forward to this week, I get a phone call at work. It's his ex. She tells me she has been begging him to be honest with me, as they've been seeing each other since December, sleeping together and spending lots of time together. She also has a young child.
She apparently twigged onto something in one of his texts and got suspicious that he was seeing someone else. This is apparently the third time he has done this to her in the five years they have known each other. Oh and she also told me she has herpes and he KNEW that. Still had unprotected sex. So obviously I'm now at risk of that too, so going to get checked out as soon as I possibly can.
He never stayed at my house when I had my children, I share 50/50 custody with their dad. So when I had them and he wasn't here, he was with her.
He has met my children and I have met his. I genuinely thought we were going to be one big blended amazing family and now its all been ripped away. My kids, especially my son loves him, asks about him all the time and enjoys being around him. His dad is a piece of shit and has never given him much attention, which is why I think he got so attached to him, like a father he never had. He put in so much effort and yet he was doing all this behind my back.
I am glad in a way that this has happened now and not years down the line.
He said it was a mistake, doesn't even know why he did it. Reckons he loves me and all that bullshit. I'm done. I can't spend my life looking over my shoulder worrying about what he's doing.
I'm heartbroken but it won't break me. I need to be the best mum I can to my children and him being in the picture will stop me from doing this.
I just wanted to get that out.
He's coming later to get his shit. I can't wait to move on from this shit show.