Please help

[Googoodoll87]

Please help me. My partner of 12 years left me nearly 6 weeks ago, I thought I was doing ok but I'm not. He is happy without me, out on nights out with friends. I think he might have been speaking to another woman but he won't admit it and I can't prove it. He wouldn't give me any explanation, just said we weren't 'right' and any questions I asked he just got angry and said he didn't know. I don't understand how he just doesn't care after all that time when I'm so gutted. He doesn't miss me, I thought he may have text me at some point but he isn't going to. I mean nothing to him, I'm not even worthy of a reply. I just can't cope with these feelings of knowing he doesn't love me anymore when all I can do is think about everything constantly. I want to stop caring about him and become a really outgoing person with loads of friends like he is but I'm not. I hate everything about myself and want to be someone else.

People just sometimes try to prove a point I think by seeming like they’re ok. If he genuinely doesn’t care then in time you’ll realise you’re worth so much more. Take your time to heal and don’t rush yourself and pressure yourself to be a certain way. Do you have any family and friends to support you? We can’t help how we feel and I would be exactly the same as you. There is a lot of support available out there if you need it so access it if you need to. I wish you well for your future :)

Also, you shouldn’t hate yourself. He really is not worth you feeling like that. You’re at a really low point at the minute so try to give yourself a break. You will be happy again.

ypu definitely meant something to him after 12 years together. I've found men do tend to love their "freedom" at first and a woman is normally crushed but it does flip. By the time he realises you will realise how much more peaceful your life is and happy you are without him. I've seen this happen countless times

You don't know how he really feels. People cope with change and stress in different ways. Having a full social life - even talking to another woman - doesn't mean he's blissfully happy.

It's cruel of him not to give you an explanation after 12 years together. But you can't force him, and if you try to contact him and he ignores you, or refuses to talk, then you'll end up feeling worse each time. So force yourself to ignore him. Fake it til you make it..... You will feel better over time. It isn't unusual for the dumpee to realise they're feeling much better and moving on, about the same time the dumper realises they made a bad decision. But that isn't always the case. You will get better. You will get stronger. Have you got friends / family IRL who you can make plans with? Could you pursue a new hobby? What have you fancied doing these past 12 years that you didn't, because you were in a relationship / because he didn't like it? Do that.

Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your feelings are normal and understandable. Take one day at a time. You will get through this and be stronger on the other side.

Thank you. I can speak to my mum and sister but I don't want to keep bothering them.

All the bad things I didn't like about myself I thought must not have really been true as he loved me but now I know they are true and that's why he's stopped.

He's going to have an amazing fun life with all his money, friends, girlfriend going holidays and nights out and my life is going to be shit. I won't ever be able to get closure and get over him but I really want to. I don't want to feel like this.

I'm worried our daughter will end up wanting to live with him because he is better than me.