I broke up with someone I'd been with for two years around Christmas time. There was always tension because of his ex he separated from nearly four years before; he was always around her house with the excuse he was seeing his DD (6), slept there, would message each other all the time. Much more too. I accepted it at first because it wasn't my place to say anything, but the longer we were together, the more trouble she was allowed to make.
During this time, I broke up with him several times because I wasn't comfortable with always being placed last, I knew it wasn't right and I deserved better. It was to the point her family and friends would tell her the comments I made on his social media accounts. I had enough at Christmas when he refused to see me and spent the day with his ex. I offered to cook dinner for him and their DD, but was told no and he spent the day with them. I wouldn't have minded this but the Christmas before he broke it off to spend the day with them as well. Then came begging for me back after he'd stayed there for three days.
I found out I was pregnant shortly after Christmas. I'd heard from him and he was asking to reconcile, I stuck to my guns and said no. The day I found out I was pregnant, he'd been in touch telling me he still loved me and wanted to get back, I then told him I was pregnant and the relationship wasn't a healthy one to raise a child in due to the constant stress and problems he allowed his ex to make. His attitude changed and he hasn't asked for me back since. I lost the baby four weeks ago, contacting him to let him know but he wouldn't answer the phone. It turns out he was with his ex and DD.
I have since heard off him and he has accused me of seeing other people, messages me when he's drunk, tells me he doesn't want it to be over etc. However, a friend of mine saw him coming out of his ex's house and heading to work at 7am the other morning; he'd been messaging me two days before saying he missed me. I spoke to him last night to be told the same "I stay there to spend time with DD." His ex has also now unblocked me in facebook.
I know this relationship is not right and I deserve far more, but a huge part of me is really hurt that I've been antagonised and blamed for my reaction to being disrespected, gaslit constantly. I'm annoyed with myself that I have put myself through this. Anyone else would say get a grip and move on, but why does it sting so much, even when you know you're worth so much more? Sorry for the rambling, I've kept all this to myself and just wanted to get it out.