Ratherstandonacliffandsetfiretomyself ·
24/02/2024 07:27
Let me preface by saying I have a fair bit of background trauma… bullying/abuse in childhood, abusive relationship and last serious partner cheated on me repeatedly. However I’ve had a shit ton of therapy and worked on myself and truly got to a point where I want to meet someone (I’m 38 but can’t have children or want children so not an issue here).
Thing is I don’t ever seem to meet anyone I like! Maybe I’m picky but I feel like I have to be as I’m not willing to settle. I’ve been on the OLD apps but had maybe a couple of dates in the whole of last year which haven’t gone anywhere.
Met someone at Christmas time on Bumble who seemed to be everything I was looking for. Had a few dates (no sex) and then he was quite poorly for a couple weeks, after which he said he needed some space. Stupidly I believed him and we’ve been texting every day since and making plans to rekindle stuff in the next few weeks (and I mean actual concrete plans not just oh we might). Usually been him sending the first message and him crossing the line between just flirty and more than that…
So yesterday he says he still needs space and he’s needed space all along, implying that I haven’t given it. Basically he’s not been honest and so in my eyes I’m done. I’m not waiting around for him to develop some resilience (he says he’s had issues with work and the property he’s been renovating but I’ve been working 70-80 hour weeks lately and still wanting to see him!). Worst of all he did this while I was on a boat on the other side of the fucking world!
I guess this is just a long- winded way of asking how I pick myself up and keep looking when OLD is so soul destroying! (I never really go out, no single men at work and the only hobby I have where men are is the gym and I’m not striking up a conversation there!)