Distant cousins

[Rokaswappa]

Parents are cousins. Grew up in the same friendship groups and were friends growing up. Both had a series of long term relationships that haven’t worked and always leant on each other through everything. Considering a relationship. Is it wrong or taboo?

Not really distant if your parents are first cousins!

It's fine (perfectly legal for you to marry), but will be considered odd in the UK/Europe.

How is this 'distant'?

You're 2nd cousins and you grew up together as cousins.

That for me would be like dating my brother 🤮

What happens if you break up??

Of course it isn’t ‘wrong’! It’s perfectly legal, though a lot of English peoole appear to think it’s essentially like sibling incest.

In your shoes, I’d be more concerned about whether having known one another all your lives and other relationships not working out is an adequate basis for a relationship…

Share great grandparents that were dead before either of us were born. Always knew each other as friends as children. Went our separate ways as adults and reconnected in our 30s

Sounds very unhealthy.

The extra genetic risks are tiny unless it’s a situation where there are repeated cousin marriages.

I was in the same relationship as a teenager. Love of my life and we dated for 5 years. Our families didn't find it weird at all and were very supportive. Yes, we did have the same great grandparents and knew each other growing up (didn't really see each other) but it was never a problem. I say go for it, life is too short tor regrets

No no no all my 2nd & 3rd cousins are just cousins to me, it actually makes me feel sick to think any other way and I’m saying that as some who is related to first cousins who got married and had children. I always quietly sing ding ding ding ding ding din banjo music in my head when I see them. Actually what am I saying I openly sing in these days, it gives me great pleasure to see my narc mother who is all about her image squirm when forced to introduce her relatives and their relationship. FYI each of their children had heart defects due to their parents being first cousins.

I think 2nd cousins is a bit too close.

This seems quite an extreme reaction to something that isn't illegal and though not common, does happen. Did you feel sick about how the late Queen and Prince Philip were related? And what on earth is "ding ding ding ding ding din banjo music"?

Always knew each other as friends as children

Nah, knew you were family, got on well.

You’re both experiencing a drought, getting a bit desperate.

I have no idea who my second cousins are (if they exist!)
I know of two couples who are distantly related to each other, probably similar situation to you, both are very happy and have healthy DC.

Even first cousins can marry though and you're only second cousins. Years ago many people might have married distant relatives simply because travel was slow and difficult and it would be difficult to met people who lived in the next village. Apparently the advent of the bicycle increased genetic diversity. I think there may have been a few second cousin marriages in my family in the distant past and there are some very strong family resemblances. We're all healthy though with no low slung ears.

I'd be more worried though that if this didn't work out you'd lose your best friend and support.

I have no first cousins on my paternal side but many many 2nd and third cousins and we consider ourselves "cousins" and are in fact closer than my 1st cousins on my mums side.

In no way could I imagine having a relationship with a cousin. Legal or not you will meet with disapproval, not least from your own family surely?

The thought of my dd marrying one of my brothers kids?! No no no

That's not the same relationship. Equivalent would be your dd marrying one of your cousin's ds's.

But, I still wouldn't call that distant cousins and it still feels a bit "ick" to me.

It's legal but as you can see a bit closer for comfort for a lot of people knowing you grew up quite close. It would be for me, sorry. I'd probably get on the apps instead

It might be legal, but to me that's much too close. In my extended family, that's not actually a distant cousin. Just not distant enough. I'm sorry, but no. Much too close.

I'd assume the attraction was genes rather than anything real and true.. Sorry but gives me the creeps.

I think this is grim. Sorry.

Oh heavens no

Or uf you do, avoid pro-creating. The genetics are too close!