To give unsolicited advice to a friend?

[LucyLou96]

My female friend, who is currently in a long term relationship, is entertaining a major crush on a married co-worker. I know crushes are normal, but she has become obsessed with everything he says to her, everything he does in the office, and reads into every interaction they have. Even the smallest things such as "he smirked at me", she wonders what hidden meaning the look could have.

Should I discourage her or remain neutral? So far I've remained neutral but I worry about how much she's reading into everything he says and how she's disregarding the fact he's married with children. This isn't the first time she's convinced herself a married man at work fancies her, and the last time it didn't end well and she got her heart broken.

Remind her of what happened last time!

I wouldn't have a lot of patience with this nonsense. Anyone can have a crush but it can't be taken too seriously when neither party is single.

Next time she starts going on about him I would just say 'mmm' and change the subject. If she keeps going on I would be inclined to yawn a little and say "yes, you've mentioned that before" etc. Minimise the whole thing.

If she goes further and starts something with him I would say "on your own head be it, I don't want to know."

I'm fairly intolerant though.

innocent crushes can happen, however this is limerence not an innocent crush. And when this happens in a marriage one has to question how good the marriage is.
I would stay out of it tbh. I am not sure I would remain friends If she went k. Amd got i volved with him though.

Crushes happen, but the fact she's obsessing and over analysing all their interactions suggests she's prepared to act on it. She's intentionally nurturing this crush, and showing no respect for her own or her crush's marriage, which shows very poor morals. I'd struggle to remain friends with someone like that.

Ordinarily I'm against dishing out unsolicited advice and think people should mind their own business, but sometimes people need to be told they're being out of order.

If she has form for this then she likely has issues in her own marriage, certain needs that aren't being met, that she needs to address. She needs to realise that she's projecting her vision of a perfect partner onto these men, and she's probably drawn to married men because having a married man choose her would, in her mind, prove that the connection she feels is real and not just a projection.