lately I’ve been questioning my sexuality for a number of reasons but mainly because i never really feel attracted to someone unless:
a. I know they are interested in me
b. Someone tells me they think someone is attractive
once these flags are raised I tend to go ‘all in’.
im heterosexual so I would not pursue a same sex relationship but I have wondered in the past if I am asexual and apparently ‘reciprosexual’ - where you only fancy someone who you know fancies you, is on the asexual spectrum. It’s a term used more in the lgbt community but I’ve no idea why as it translates to heterosexuality too.
Does anyone else have experience in retro sexuality? I’m interested in hearing more because recently I connected with a man I had a deep friendship with years ago. I never thought of him as anything other than a friend until he eventually told me that he had strong feelings for me, by which time it was too late and I was married. But it has caused me much pain for a long time because as soon as he blurted it out my feelings for him completely changed and I have obsessed over him massively since but was unable to act on anything as was already betrothed. My marriage is now over btw so I am free to explore these feelings retrospectively.
I just ponder over the fact that I was friends with him for ages and not bothered about a romantic encounter with him, and then it all changed after he fessed up. If he hadn’t he’d still be my old mate (and life would have been much easier).
also, before I was married, and actually even with my exH, I only got with boyfriends when my friends said ‘oh yeah I think such and such is good looking and fancies you so why don’t you go after him?’
left to my own devices I would probably still be a virgin! I don’t seem to have a mind of my own when it comes to romance.
or maybe I’m just a massive narcissist!