How much do you and your partner/spouse talk about work?

[Allelbowsandtoes]

My DP got a new job last year which is very different to anything he's done before, and although he's enjoying it and doing well he was thrown in at the deep end with very little support or supervision.
He wants to talk about work every day when we both get home and I'm finding that I'm getting a bit tired of it. There are really interesting aspects of it but he also likes to chat about the dynamics/problems in the team, ranting about certain things or whatever and honestly I find it hard to feel interested.

I've been doing the same role for years so its not new and exciting for me, so perhaps that's why I don't talk much to him about my work. Also I'm a mental health nurse in a very busy team so honestly I'm often emotionally drained when I get home and don't have the energy to listen, which is unfair to DP I know.

I have on a couple of occasions told him I don't always have the energy for work chat but i think that makes him feel shut down.

Not sure what the answer is but advice is welcome

I had to tell my DH to stop talking about his work as it was winding me up. He’d tell me his problems, so I’d offer my thoughts on solutions, then he’d never try any so I’d just get frustrated listening to the same complaints over and over.

My exh was like this. Hours every night of work, what happened, who said what, etc. In the beginning I'd listen, offer support make suggestions, he didnt want this. He just wanted to monologue his day!! His whole family are like it.

That sounds exhausting! Tbf my DP doesn't go on for hours, don't think I could cope with that!
It runs in his family too, his mum and brother genuinely can hold up a one sided conversation for hours, DP is a much much milder version haha

My husband is like this and has been for about 15 years almost to the exclusion of any other topic. I did blow up at him very recently and he has made an effort to STFU. It is much better!!

My DH only tells me about work things if there's something new happening that influences for example his schedule or if I ask him about something. I would get annoyed if he went on about his work every day. Not sure if there would be a polite way to tell you DH you are not interested (I am not very polite).

DP runs a business so yes I sometimes have to hear the gory details. I suppose the business does become part of the household. It does interrupt our time together occasionally.

We talk about work a lot but we are both business owners and have a big overlap in new ideas and how we are getting on. I like it. He's great to riff off but I think it has to be a two way street. In my last relationship it was very boring though. I had no interest in his job which was all meetings and bitching about his colleagues

I do constantly, he doesn't at all

DH talks about his work on a daily basis as soon as I walk in the door usually. However, he is a great stressor & self-employed so who else is he going to talk to about it?

I'm the opposite, very rare for me to talk about work but then I work with people I can talk about work with

My partner is my senior at work so we literally do not talk about work unless completely necessary. 5-10 min rant or vent if needed and then it’s done.

Usually just get things off our chest about the day on the way home in the car. We work in the same place though so I guess for that reason we might say less, as we generally know what has gone on! I can understand that if you don't know the people and place it's even more boring to listen to!

We work in the same sector so we talk about work constantly 😂😂

DP used to do this. She likes to talk in general, but I tend to find the work stuff a bit dull.

After she started a new job and it got significantly worse, me and DD came up with a phrase. "What an interesting work related anecdote!"

We'd let her spout off when she first got home from work, but then anything after that was greeted with the phrase. It was all good humoured, and we laughed about it, but it made her realise just how much she was talking about work, and she started to cut down.

It still gets occasionally used now, but generally when it really is something interesting and work related.

It's obviously something people want to talk about as we spend a lot of time at work. Having said that you may soon wonder if you have a colleague as a DP. Than it's time to consider your options.

Almost never discuss mine, but I get a run down from him for a few minutes while we are doing tea. Otherwise don't discuss it.