Still feeling sad

[Onehouratatime]

Hi everyone
I've posted lots of times about my ex..broke up in July after an argument because he broke my boundaries with his female friend multiple times he blocked me and vanished and then popped back up end of Nov/Dec time we were talking and making moves to get back together and fix stuff asked him if he slept with anyone else during the time we had split he said no. His ex before me got in touch told me they had been sleeping together the whole time we had split and he basically said I was crazy (he told me the same story about her that he told her about me!!!) Anyway I can't get over it. Everything he swore he wasn't is exactly what he is...a liar and a scum bag cheat..

I keep having dip moments where I am completely shattered and sad

How do I heal

Sorry you're going through this, OP. You heal by taking you focus away from him, and put it on what you can do to improve your life and mental health.

Honestly, it can take a few years to get over someone. And often you can't really completely move on until you meet someone new.

I’m sorry you’re feeling this, but I genuinely do not believe it is any of your business who he slept with when you were not together. You’ve no right to that info, and he’s no right to know who you slept with.

@Janetime everyone's opinions differ..I didn't ask who I just asked if he had... he lied to my face is my main point.. we were separated 4/5 months I was devastated where as he just went back to an ex who he claimed abused him and jumped in bed and lied to her and whoever else he slept with in that time. Because of the duration of the separation being short I asked to protect my own sexual health more than anything as ultimately we separated and he and I could do whatever we wanted

@TwoWithCurls @MsRosley thank you... I'm so annoyed in early December I was getting over everything and then he came back full force and now I feel I'm starting again recovering from all the hurt!

No darling he isn’t for you. He isn’t good enough.

@emilysgoldskirt thank you lovie...he lied right to my face...after everything 😒

Once my ex touches anyone else regardless of how long we have been apart it’s a no go for me… and the fact he lied to you about it to your face? Not on.

you sound like you have done so well in your healing so far! It is hard but maybe it’s best to say thanks but no thanks and block him. You know you can be happy without him so go no contact, block and go back to working on yourself for yourself x

@rainywednesday34 I am exactly the same! While I was heartbroken dealing with my dcs during summer holidays crying everyday in secret for 4/5 months he was sleeping with his ex (who he said abused and assaulted him and who he said he hated) and then lied...I just can't get my head around it all - how could he do that?! I was absolutely heartbroken I couldn't even think of another man let alone have sex with one.

Thank you..

I've blocked him. I reread some of the messages from about 2 weeks ago and their is absolutely no accountability from his side just excuses and gas lighting..claims its my fault he slept with his ex as if we didn't argue about his boundary breaking we wouldn't of split and he wouldn't of gone back and used her for sex (admitted he told her what she needed to hear to get what he wanted wtffff...)

Sorry I'm ranting now

OP, read up on abandonment melange. You might find the Crappy Childhood Fairy videos on relationships helpful.

@MsRosley thank you I'll do this!! Xx

OP I don't think the healing process is linear, I think someone said that on an earlier post. I do appreciate what you have said, it's not about the rights and wrongs it's about how you feel. I think it is completely understandable and it doesn't make you mad or unreasonable to be upset and sad when you think you're dealing with pain and the person who has caused this is fine, better than fine. That doesn't affect you though, you have your life to lead and that has to be your focus. I try to block thoughts out, it's exhausting but try it, something like "I deserve better he is a twat" . One thing I find helps is when a friend says "he was never right for you" or "you deserve better much better" hang on to that. Sometimes it's very easy to cherry pick the small things that made you love someone and forget the bad things and the pain. Just my thoughts to let you know that someone who doesn't know you still cares

@Livelifelaughter your so right and your brain starts playing little tricks on you sometimes and you doubt yourself I need to remember he is a twat he broke everything and destroyed it and who wants a man who can lie to your face anyway

Thank you so much