Mother obsessed with my relationship with my sister

[toogoodtobetruex]

I’ve come to terms with the fact that I think my mother is a narc.

i had a cancer scare recently and she asked me not to discuss my worries and fears because it was distressing her and my sister.

This is the same woman who has offered to pay me money (obviously I said no) to invite my sister to social gatherings as my mother feels sorry for her as she has no friends. You can take a wild guess as to why this is true.

Numerous conversations I have with my mother devolve to “will you invite sister?” “Why won’t you invite sister?” “How do you think sister will be affected by this?”. This includes minor decisions/actions all the way up to life changing events.
she will also constantly crowbar her into conversations that weren’t even about her in the first place.

It’s getting to the point where we barely talk anymore because the inevitable mention of my sister makes me want to scream.

I would just repeat what she does to you "please don't mention sister having no friends, I find it distressing."

That or time to go incredibly low contact.

Is your sister her golden child? Younger per chance?

Yes! She is

Textbook Narc mother antics it’s not you xx

Thank you. I sometimes tell other people who know me and they’re flabbergasted but when it’s continually going on I end up questioning myself? I know I shouldn’t.

I think some parents have a golden, idealised picture of all their children being ‘best friends’. I know my mother is very wistful we’re not close at all, my siblings and I. She has no grasp that it’s because we had a very overcrowded, impoverished childhood, with no individual attention, no personal space, and continually competing for scarce resources. As a result we’ve all become adults who keep their distance from one another. Our early experiences weren’t conducive to friendship.