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Original poster

How to deal with this rationally?

2 replies

squigglylines · 22/02/2024 09:40

How do I deal with this in a rational way? DH has gone away for the night, it's purely leisure and has had it planned for a while. Usually I don't mind but with this week being half-term and the events of this week I'm extremely resentful. He's just left and will be gone until tomorrow afternoon. Our DS (3) is unwell and for the past week has been coming into our bed at all hours during the night. DH made it very clear he didn't want to miss his trip and didn't want to be unwell so has been keeping his distance and sleeping in the spare room. I'm now on day 6 of very little sleep, bearing in mind I struggle with insomnia so my fuel tank is pretty low and so is my temper. Usually we would take it in turns to have a night off but that hasn't happened at all this week. I couldn't even look at DH as he left the house this morning, he claimed he felt really bad but I ushered him to go. I just wanted him gone. I feel so depressed and I'm utterly exhausted, I think I had at the most 3 hours sleep last night. I don't want to fall out but I'm honestly at the end of my tether.

I will talk to him when he's back tomorrow but I don't know how to get across what I'm feeling without being made to feel guilty as I've possibly ruined his trip 😢

OP posts:
Dogsarepeopletoo · 22/02/2024 09:57

I've had this too. OH being so invested in their trip, they take time out from parenting beforehand and after.
Be prepared for after, my OH gets soooo tired from travelling they can't lift a finger! Just like any cold is manflu, they can turn one night away into 3 days of opting out!
Try explaining that you don't mind the odd night, but the before and after is too much on top, plus illnesses and half term. If they want to do it again, they need to pull their weight before and after rather than take the piss. Also perhaps say you are booking the spare room for two nights when they are back saying you are done in and it must be your turn!
Good luck.

Original poster
squigglylines · 22/02/2024 10:06

Dogsarepeopletoo · 22/02/2024 09:57

I've had this too. OH being so invested in their trip, they take time out from parenting beforehand and after.
Be prepared for after, my OH gets soooo tired from travelling they can't lift a finger! Just like any cold is manflu, they can turn one night away into 3 days of opting out!
Try explaining that you don't mind the odd night, but the before and after is too much on top, plus illnesses and half term. If they want to do it again, they need to pull their weight before and after rather than take the piss. Also perhaps say you are booking the spare room for two nights when they are back saying you are done in and it must be your turn!
Good luck.

Edited

Thanks, I've already indicated that it's his turn tomorrow and he can do a couple of nights. I'm dreading tonight already, I think I'll be in bed at 8pm at this rate, I'm so tired. I am a bit niggled he picked half-term to go away, I'm a bit fed up of me covering the majority of the school holidays. Anyways, I'll stop ranting now. I'm just very short fused right now 🙃

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