Relationship is over but DP blocking me from moving on

[VespaBlue]

Hello,

DP and I agreed to separate a couple of months ago. It was initiated by me and he has remained very passive and unwilling to engage in conversations about the future, the children, our living arrangement etc
We live in a rental property and the contract is in my name. Ideally I would move out - the rental contact can be transferred into his name - but he is refusing to transfer the contract into his name and also refusing to move out, which leaves me stuck. I can’t move out and be liable for two lots of rent but I also can’t remain here with him, sleeping on the sofa and in a state of permanent stress and misery. What do I do??

If you are prepared to move out can you give notice on the property and move into a new one without him? Give him one last opportunity to choose to move or to take over the lease and warn him that you will be giving notice on X date if he hasn't both made his choice AND taken action by then (otherwise he'll choose one or the other but not do anything).

He's not on the rental agreement so you need to evict him. I suggest you get advice from citizens advice about the correct way to do this. But he's not a tenant so it shouldn't be too difficult.

Can you get the Police to remove him? Or talk to your landlord.

If his name isn't on the rental contract (and you are not married), you can ask him to leave. If he refuses you can get the police to help remove him. He has zero rights to living in that property.

However if that feels too stressful and if you don't want to live in that particular house anymore then give notice to your landlord and find another rental. He will have no choice but to leave (and would be the landlords problem, not yours).

Ask the police to remove him and change the locks.

Or give notice and move without him.

You can just give notice to your landlord and tell him about the rental ending and when. It will be as simple as that. Be open about it and give him a deadline, but he can’t stop you.

You need to give him a date and ask either a few friends to help him move or sk the police for assistance.

He’s bullying you.

Thanks for the advice everyone.

This happened to me twice. It's a way for the man not having to face the fact you want to separate, and trying to keep the "normal" going. The only solution for me was to contact the landlord and terminate the tenancy, and look for anotyher place to move,. It's not fair, because you lose your home and he won't even stay in it, but long term, believe me, it is the best choice.

If you don't mind me asking @VespaBlue how are things with you? Any moving forward for you? Are you getting the advice and support you need?

Hello @2catsandhappy, things have changed massively since I wrote that message back in February. In the end, my ex agreed to pay the rent for the property we were living in. The contract is still in both our names (until August) but he has reliably paid the rent for the past couple of months and I believe he’ll continue to do so until he takes the contract on in August.
With financial support from family, I’ve got my own rented flat. The children spend part of the week with the dad and the rest with me. It’s an incredibly difficult time but feel we’re all moving in the right direction.