Seperating.

[Confusionn]

I need to leave my dp, for various reasons his behaviour is completely abhorrent and unbearable and Our children are being effected. I also have a new baby.
My question is what is the best way to do this? We are living in my property that I 100% own. It was my house before we met and we are not married. I have asked him to leave but he refuses, he said his bad behaviour is all in my head and I am imagining it. He also owns a property which he usually rents out but is currently vacant. If he still refuses to leave what legal options do I have to make him go? I am at my wits end and I am clueless as to which way to turn. Has anyone else been through similar that could offer some advice.

Look into an Occupation Order and a Non Molestation Order if there’s domestic abuse.

I looked at this thread because I am wanting to separate from my DH but because I am in love with someone else and have been for sometime. He’s done nothing wrong and I’m so torn. 😔 best wishes xx

If you feel threatened, call the police and say your partner is refusing to leave your home and is acting aggressively and you're scared.

Once he is out, change the locks.

Or, if he works, change the locks when he is out (book a locksmith) Pack up his stuff and let him collect it from the doorstep when he gets home.
Warn the police you've broken up with someone and he may prove violent when he returns so you might need their help.

Do not answer the door to him. Call the police if he won't leave. Never let him in your home again.

Also 'I don't want to be with you anymore'. You don't need to say it's because of how he acts. There doesn't need to be a reason to break up. 'I don't want to be with you anymore' is enough. You don't need to excuse or justify or reason or negotiate. Just 'we're done'.

Call the police and explain that the man refuses to leave the house, and you feel intimidated. State that you are being controlled and you are vulnerable, and there are children at home, if you wish for their intervention. When removed, change the locks on the front and rear doors immediately. Install CCTV on the door and garden area if you feel at risk. If he continues to pester you, report to the police and pursue a harassment-related injunction to prevent him coming near. It is called a non-molestation order/ occupation order as the previous respondent mentioned to you. If you look up the citizens advice bureau online then it gives you more details of how to do this. He can put his post on redirect at the post office without needing to attend the property. Get in touch with women's aid and they can give you advice and support. Also tell your GP so domestic violence is entered into your medical records. It may assist you with future legal proceedings, such as a legal aid application.

Thanks. He is not a violent man, just an extremely unpleasant one, however I was not sure if doing an occupation order would immediately alert ss because we have young children? This is what's putting me off. I was hoping to separate with minimum fuss.

I wouldn't imagine so. How would they even know you have kids? What does it matter if it does anyway, its not a bad thing to leave a shit marriage. And actually, if he's treating the kids badly it might be good to have that on record with them.

Get over the idea that there will be minimum fuss. He's not going to ket that happen. The most important thing you can do is show you aren't afraid to do whatever you need to do. That you'll call the police, that you'll kick him out, that you'll go to court. Whatever it takes to be free of him.

Because miss 'I don't want any fuss', well he'll walk ALLLLL over her. Miss kindness and compromise? She's fucked. Miss be nice to him and hopefully he'll be nice back? Up shits creek without a paddle.

Act swift, be ruthless, get a bulldog lawyer. That's how you make things easier for yourself. Because he WANTS fuss. Be sure of it. A good offense is the best defence.

@Pinkbonbon is correct. It's your house, not his. You are not married. He has no legal right to be there if you want him gone.

Will he go to work tomorrow? If so, change the locks. Send him a text to tell him the relationship is over and you have put a bag of his stuff by the gate for him to pick up. Tell him you will make arrangements about him collecting the rest of his stuff.

He doesn't get to insist he is staying in your home. Let him know that you are prepared to get the police involved if necessary.

I had a look at the occupation order application and it does specifically ask about children. Also would the court not think it is strange that I am asking for an order when I am the sole owner of the home? It seems just by going with how the form is worded an occupation order is when there is joint ownership and the judge decides who gets to stay there.

I tried that before, however he climbed over the garden fence and started banging on our back window. I let him in because I was embarrassed about the neighbours, which is why I think going down a more official route would work best. I really don't want police involvement if it can be helped.

He is trespassing in your house, call the police and get him gone

Next time don't answer the door, just shout 'I'm calling the police!'.

A little neighbourhood embarrassment is nothing in comparison to having to stay in an horrible relationship. They'll be thinking 'I hope she doesn't let him back in!' anyway.

You could change the locks when he's out, text him then to say 'You've been told we are over several times and to leave for weeks. Enough is enough now. I've changed the locks to my house. Tell me where you want your things dropped off and I'll have my father bring them to you. If you come back to my home I will call the police'.

Do so, if he still comes.
Hopefully he won't.

Phone the police if he pulls that shit again.

Do you have any relatives that can support and help you discourage him?

Believe me, the neighbours won't be thinking any worse of you if you call the police to have him removed than they were at him shouting, banging on the window and eventually being allowed back in!

Stop making excuses for the wazzock and do what @Pinkbonbon has said if you want him gone. You say you are clueless about what to do, but you've had plenty of sound advice here.