DP and I have been together for 2 years, both mid 40s and no kids. I have lived at his for 7 months and due to move out in 8 weeks.
I am living at his as I sold my house and bought an off plan house. He invited me as it made sense and was only temporary. He lived rurally about an hour away from my work and social circle. He doesn’t really have friends but acquaintance’s he sees in the pub.
I have found it tough here as it’s not my house and I feel isolated. I can drive and can see friends, just not as often as I used to. Pop in for a coffee etc. DP as much as he said treat my house as your own has just carried on with his routine. Plays computer games, pub, football and sleeping. Doesn’t seem to have integrated me into his life.
when we dated we saw each other 3 - 4 times a week. He can work where I used to live and I can work at home. We went out, he planned things and we had fun. Not so much living together. I make plans and they get cancelled. His excuse is we see each other loads. He will go to the pub to see mates and make those plans.
I asked him what do you think our future looks like when I move out. He said we will go back to how we were and will be better as we will make an effort and do more things. I did point out that’s not stopping us now. He realised and made an effort for 2 weeks and then nothing. He also won’t make holiday plans as he says I need to sort my house out first before we book.
He comes home from work and doesn’t want to chat. It’s silence. I have asked a few times and all he says is tired nothing is wrong. But I feel he has lost feelings and is just being a nice guy and waiting till I move out. If I am unhappy he is unhappy.
for past week he has gone to bed at 8pm to read. I will go to bed later and ask for a cuddle and I get a half hearted hug as he says he is reading. It’s got to the point I feel he is trying to avoid me.
however I am very hormonal for past few months, stressed at work and listening too much on other’s opinions. Friends and family say it’s weird that we are not moving in together. It signals no future and what is the point of continuing to date. I don’t feel settled at his which also is not helping.
It doesn’t help that he can get moody and defensive if there are problems and avoids things. So I am not too sure if his reaction is him being upset I am moving. He is not interested when I talk about my house.
please help me decide if he is losing interest in me or I am overthinking or he is upset. Talking to him he says he loves me and everything is fine. My gut says otherwise.