Those with a positive 50/50 co parent- did he always stay 50/50?

[Happyholly1]

For those of you who co parent with a involved ex who cares a lot about the children and it was 50/50 form they were young. Did that ever change? Did the kids always want to stay 50/50 or what was your experience?
my kids have 50/50 between me and ex and it’s worked well for 4 years and they don’t seem to have a preference at this time (they’re 5 and 7). Did your kids go on to want to stay more in either house or did it stay split equally? If it changed, what do you think led to that?

• title should say “did that always stay 50/50”

I share 50/50 with my ex-wife. It's been pretty smooth in general and we try and support each other when any issues do arise. My kids are early teenagers and for a brief while my daughter had a fall out with her mum and said she wanted to come and live with me. I told my daughter that it wasn't an option, not because i wouldn't want her there, but i wouldn't want to be on the other side of it when and if one day she says the same to me. I'd hope my ex would say likewise and support me. We cover each others holidays and work commitments and the kids know they're loved equally. Hopefully it'll remain that way, i think most reasonable parents will try and keep things that way for their kids, irrespective of their own personal differences . I do understand and respect though that the surroundings of a break up may make this harder in some cases

Hi OP
I've been doing 50:50 for around 4 years as well (my kids are now 16 and 11)
It's works really well (surprisingly well, I guess you always worry the impact that a separation has on kids)
The crucial thing for us was that me and my exw live in the same village so that my oldest can independently travel (bicycle) between our houses and school
As kids get older they start developing their own social circles, for us it was important that whichever home they are at those friendship circles/school friends remain the same
Me and my exw are also very flexible with each other when it comes to weekend's and holidays which has allowed both of us to also develop our own social lives away from the kids.
I guess going forward (probably once he is over 18h) my oldest will need to decide if he wants to continue with this arrangement or have a single main home,
I wouldn't put any pressure on him either way but I would really miss him if he decided to reduce the time he spent at mine.

My DD has been 50/50ish between us both. She is now 13, so we've been doing that for 7 years and it hasn't changed. I would imagine it may change as she gets up to 17/18. years old. She comes back to my/our house after school each day, so I see her most days.

I am the main organiser for clothes, dinner money etc. But the exH provides £100 a month for these things.

It worked well for us for around 15 years. When DD hit late teens, she started to choose where she stayed at weekends depending on what she was doing with her friends. Sometimes it was easier to stay with the parent living nearer to a particular venue. Once she went to Uni, she moved out and never rally moved back home as she bought her own house almost straight away once she graduated.

My dp had 50/50 was the his dc, both now young adults.

They both invariably had fall-outs with each parent over the years but both parents were (mostly) on the same page about stuff - kids really just got on with it. Into young adulthood and one moved in with mum (perceived more freedom but lots of Disney type stuff still going on), the other is with dad, not sure it'll switch before theyre both independent.

Yes worked brilliantly for years, happy kids happy parents.

I'm 3 months in to a 50/50 split with my ex. We have two children (3 and 6) and they're struggling at the moment... Particularly the 6yr old. She's very emotional all the time and I don't know how to help her. I'm so worried about how her wellbeing has been affected and how this will manifest as she grows up.

Im also really struggling and feel this overwhelming sense of guilt, that I've let them down by not being with them all the time. When they're not with me, I feel so low and lost. It's almost like I'm grieving, which sounds crazy.

I read all your positive messages about how successful the 50/50 split has been, and I guess i just need to know it's all going to get easier with time.

I have my son 50/50 and have for six years - he’s 12. It suits all of us very well. I probably have him slightly more actually as my ex has a lot of meetings and seemingly a busy social life... I couldn’t imagine only doing every other weekend or whatever other people do. I do WFH though which is a major factor in how well it works, if I still had an hour commute each way it would be much harder.