How to be less awkward OLD

[Superawkward]

I am in my early 40s. Not long out of a 20+ year relationship (married 13 years). Decided to dip my toe into OLD. Quickly realised that OMFG I have no idea how to talk or flirt with men! Literally no idea!

Despite speaking to men in work (work in a male heavy environment!) and having male friends. I have no clue. I've always kind of made an effort to shut anything like that down since being married. TBH, since having kids my confidence in my appearance took a nose dive as well and I'm only just building it back up.

I've got lots of likes and messages, but literally no idea what to say to blokes I'm potentially interested in. I've somehow managed to get a date for the weekend, but what do I do now? Keep messaging him between now and then? Making awkward chit chat? Argh! Help!

This made me chuckle only because I felt very much the same after coming out of my marriage (20 years together, 14 years married, also early 40s) . I think my advice would be just go with the flow. Be curious, ask questions, answer honestly. Flirting will come with the right person. Some are super "wink wink, nudge nudge" and others are a little more reserved.
Enjoy the experience - and enjoy the date this weekend. Relax and just go in with a view that you are just meeting someone new and going to learn a bit about them. Like a colleague - and if it feels like there is chemistry then another date will be arranged.
You go girl 💕

🤣🤣 I'm glad it wasn't just me! At least other people have had the same struggle!

OLD just didn't exist when I met my ex. I have no idea what the 'rules' are or what I'm doing.

I'll see how this date goes on the weekend. Not expecting much TBH but I think having a first date will help me get a bit of confidence.

I remember my first date in over 30 years was - I was close to having a panic attack in the car driving there 🤣

But I was fine when I got there. Tbh it maybe helped that I instantly didn’t fancy him so relaxed and saw it as a nice couple of drinks with a new mate.

My only advice is nothing too heavy for the first date, just a coffee or a couple of drinks so it can be as short or as long as you both want. Dinner makes things awkward if it’s not a great date and food interrupts the flow of chat.

Wear something you feel comfortable in as well. Its hard but don’t over think it

Just talk normally, what do you do, what do you like? I do find there's more flirting (which I'm useless at) over messages.
But I also find them useful. Life is busy as we get older sometimes, I don't want to waste an evening on someone who's a turd!

Advantage can be few people to chat to, probably won't meet them sometimes, so no harm in saying something which you might regret getting no date out of!

Thanks, good advice! I've arranged for something during the day so I can make my excuses if needed! Also lining up a friend with the emergency phone call to escape!

I honestly think I will be having a panic attack on the day though!

Yeh, I'm really not great over messages and TBH some guys haven't been either. Which makes it even more awkward!

Just to add that in my OLD experience most men are rubbish at flirting so don’t worry about you being awkward. Just be careful that some men seem to default to being a bit cringey. I just steer the conversation away and it’s usually fine.

Ha! Yes I'm already discovering this!