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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I added my first love on social media, is it worth getting in touch with her?

6 replies

Tyboy7 · 20/02/2024 17:29

Long story short, I was with my first love for 3 years before we broke up nearly 10 years ago. We were young and in our early 20s back then, things just fizzled out. I've always thought about her but eventually we went our separate ways, she got in to a relationship with another guy for a few years but eventually he ended up cheating on her, this was around 2017.

At the start of 2019, she did add me on social media but she didn't say anything to me so a few days later I ended up deleting her because I realised I still wasn't over her. At the end of 2019 I heard that she was engaged, she ended up getting married but then I heard she got divorced around a year and a half ago.

A few weeks ago I found out that the reason for her divorce was because her husband cheated on her and was abusive towards her.

As for me I have been single for a few years now, I have been evolving in my career and proud of how far I've come and have recently started a new chapter in my career.

I considered getting in touch with her a few months ago but I noticed that she had cut off a lot of people from her social media so I wasnt too sure how she'd react to me adding her, I thought she'd reject me seen as she's cutting off a lot of people.

So 3 weeks ago I took the plunge seen as I had nothing to lose and sent her a request on instagram, and she has accepted and also followed me back. She's been viewing my stories and today I posted a life quote on my story which she liked but I haven't spoke to her yet. I liked one of her posts a few days ago.

I'm tempted to send her a message but not sure if she'll respond or how she'd react, I was hoping she'd message me first but don't think she will and I want to tread very carefully with her as I don't really know where her mind is given what she's been through. I know I may be overthinking it but any advice would be appreciated, thanks

OP posts:
shellyleppard · 20/02/2024 17:32

Op maybe just send an open invitation for coffee and chat??? That way you can see if she has any feelings for you. If not......at least you tried. Good luck 🍀❤️🤞 please keep us updated following intently ❤️

Kangarude · 20/02/2024 17:33

You posted this last week. Didn’t you get enough advice on that thread?

MarnieMarnie · 20/02/2024 18:02

Leave her alone and find someone in the real world, not a fantasy in your head. All of this 'first love' bollocks is exactly that. The reasons it ended originally will still be there, probably magnified. And stop stalking her fgs, it's creepy and inappropriate.

idrinkandiknowthings · 22/02/2024 12:46

Life is far too fucking short. I'd message her and see how it goes. Good luck!!

Obeast · 22/02/2024 12:55

You wrote a huge thread months ago obsessing over some other ex.
Just live your life and leave these women alone?

Healthyhappymama · 22/02/2024 14:22

I'd definitely send her a message. She has accepted your request, viewing your stories and liking things. Girls are afraid too, should I message him or wait. A nice friendly hey how are you or something like that is nice. Give it a few days see if she replies. I doubt she'd ignore you? Even if you hear nothing back at least you can say your tried , go on send her a message :)

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