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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hand Hold: How to heal through a breakup as the 'dumper'

6 replies

datcherygrateful · 20/02/2024 13:10

I've ended a relationship that I should have years ago really, but here we are. I know it was rational, and it the right thing but i am struggling through this period. I asked for us to go no contact for 30 days. My ex said he can't do 30 days and to see how we get on. He said he still wants to be friends and would rather a friendship than nothing at all. We've been together 4 years, no kids.
It's only been 3 days and my mind is all over the place. I have tried to stay busy with work, but I do find myself checking my phone ( ive deleted his number) just to see if he messaged (even though I've asked him not to)

I'm taking my sister to brunch on friday for a change of scenery and she said I should buy something to mark the occasion and I can't think that far ahead, or what to do and what to get myself as a pick me up.

I hear I should do lots of self care, but I am tired and my head is busy to know what sorts of things I should do.

We have a joint membership at a fancy health club and even though he said I should still go as the gym is big enough for both of us, it feels weird as we spent alot of time at that club together. I've not yet stopped my DD gym membership to him because I am conflicted over quitting the club as I like it but not quite ready to go back into swing of things.

Lots of the advice I have read is geared towards the person being 'dumped'- Is there any advice for the 'dumper'?

OP posts:
DancesWithBadgers · 20/02/2024 14:55

Sorry your relationship has ended. I think the best way is to look at it like a sad ending and change - yes you made the decision but that doesn’t mean you won’t feel upset, lost and even other feelings like rejection or confusion.

This man has been a huge part of your life and now you’re changing things, that’s always going to be hard even if you know it’s the right decision. It’s ok to feel hurt as well or heartbroken - even if you were the one who instigated the split.

My advice is just to be kind to yourself and take your time, accept you are also grieving the end as well as your ex and take it one day at a time. You don’t need to make any decisions on things like gym membership just yet.

Tillybud81 · 20/02/2024 16:50

I was the "dumper" and it's just as bloody heartbreaking as being dumped. I went through feelings of guilt, grief and immense sadness that the relationship wasn't what I wanted even though he was a really good man. As PP said you just have to be kind to yourself, I did therapy and that helped a lot, journaling was also good. As little contact as possible too, remember you don't owe him anything and keeping in touch will only give him false hope.

I'm nearly a year on and I actually sat down and talked to my ex for the first time in months only the other day, I think we now might have a chance at being friends, but it's been a long road. We were together 9 years though

roses321 · 20/02/2024 17:58

I left despite the fact he verbally ended it, so I guess that kinda makes me the dumper given that he had no intention of leaving our house and probably didn't expect me to.

Honestly, this whole no contact thing isn't an "agreement" you put on someone else, it's a boundary you choose for yourself and enforce. So you don't say "I want to go NC for 30 days please respect me" - you choose to go NC and then enforce it by blocking them and not responding to any attempted communication.

It's not to be cruel or anything, it's to allow you to heal. You will never heal if you are leaving the door ajar like that. Stop doing that please. Put some actual lines in the sand and that means don't ask them, just put blocks in place without telling them.

The gym membership imho needs to go. Get rid of it. You cannot be having joint gym memberships if you have broken up for goodness sake. C'mon. Find a new gym to go to where you dont' worry about seeing him.

The whole "let's be friends thing" - forget it please. You can't be doing that at this stage of a breakup. Maybe in a few years when you don't have feelings, but not right now. You can't keep the door half open and no, you cannot be friends and heal. You can potentially be friends after you've healed but not before.

You need to take a bit more responsibility for holding your boundaries on this, it all sounds quite immature to be honest. If you decide to break up with them, break up with them and don't contact them or allow any contact from them.

I know it hurts and everything, but it'll prolong the pain if you stay in touch or leave doors open, it will pull the wound open again and again and give you false hope that something could magically change and because you're in pain you'll run back to them only to be disappointed again. Please don't do that.

The hardest bit is that it hurts, but it's supposed to because you've just broken up with someone who was a key person in your life, you saw them all the time probably, spoke to them possibly daily, maybe lived with them, had plans and a future discussed with them. It sucks. However, that is precisely WHY no contact is best and not putting that in their hands is best.

No contact is actually a form of self care.
Changing gym for your own good is a form of self care.

Cutting off any joint bills or anything connecting you is a form of self care.
Feeling like shit and accepting it is a form of self care (yes really, acknowledging your emotions is self care).

Journalling is another one
Writing down all the reasons you left - another one
Thinking about what you'd like to do next in your life is a good one - what did you always want to do but never did.
Having some small goals like committing to the gym 3 times a week or trying a new class.
Watching what you want on the TV
Reading trashy books
Taking up hobbies or courses that interest you, and only you.
Taking yourself out for the day.

I could go on. It's a bit of a journey really. It doesn't all feel great just because it's called self care, it isn't about just having bubble baths and buying nice stuff for yourself. Sometimes it literally is crying it out and writing him letters you'll never send. Sometimes it's getting some counselling or doing things you don't want to do like socialising with friends you haven't seen for ages, going to parties or events alone etc.

Healing from a breakup isn't fun, social media makes it some sort of glamourised version of finding yourself and it can be, but mostly it's a mess and feels awful. But then one day... you wake up and you feel better.

It's taken me 9 months so far, I still feel bloody sad sometimes. But far better than I did on day 1. Day 3 is SO early, you're bound to be going through the thick of it right now, don't be hard on yourself (that is also self care, not being a bitch to yourself).

I finished some art that I could never be bothered with because my relationship took centre stage.
I bought some new clothes
I'm going to Amsterdam with my sister in a couple of weeks
I go out with friends for the day
Have nice wine and dinner with friends
Occasionally date but realise I really cba right now.
I tidy up because it makes me feel great, today i I did a ton of laundry and i feel very "sorted".

I sit in bed watching whatever I want whilst drinking herbal tea.
I eat chocolate buttons in bed (probably more than I should, I should stop because it's not self care if you do it all the time).
I have thrown myself into work stuff because that serves me and my future.
I swapped cars to one I like better

My ex can't contact me. He's blocked on everything. Literally EVERYTHING. I disappeared from the face of the Earth. It was a bad breakup in my case, but even if it's not, you broke up and there was obviously a reason for it.

Hope this helps a bit.

datcherygrateful · 21/02/2024 11:59

Thank you all :)
Valuable insights that I’ll take on board

OP posts:
MzHz · 21/02/2024 12:06

Ending a relationship is sad whatever the circumstances, especially when it's not bad enough to have to end it right there and then, but not good enough to stay.

You DO need to back yourself, you WILL get through this, it IS hard to make a new path and 4 years is a long time in terms of habit.

You will need to mourn the loss of the hope of this relationship, grieve for it for a while and then things will get better. Don't worry' too much about how crap you feel, this IS sad, it IS supposed to feel sad. it wont always feel like this.

I'm a little worried about the fact that he is not respecting your request for NC, but that maybe more me projecting than anything more sinister. you have told him not to, lets hope he respects that. You could block him for the next 30 days and then at least you know you won't have messages from him? I know that is a little cold, but you have to make peace with this decision too and need space to do so.

Yeah, keep busy. keep plodding on and it will get easier.

altmember · 21/02/2024 12:10

It's too soon to be friends with each other. He's still in the denial stage by the sounds of it.

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