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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Am I the problem?

6 replies

ThatFairPeachTraybake · 20/02/2024 11:58

My mums marriage broke down 6 years ago and she moved in with me. Since then I had a kid who l am now raising alone. She got a new partner who she invites over all the time. She helps out loads but she does not respect my boundaries at all eg comes into the bathroom when I'm having a wee or a bath. She moves my stuff all the time/doesn't respect my opinion/if I don't do as she says she blows up. I have said to her she should move out/give me my space but she doesn't listen. Today I have found out my brother and her partner hate me. My brother is so jealous and thinks mum does everything for me and hates me because of it. My mums partner thinks that I'm the problem and I'm "in the way" of him getting what he wants. I don't want my mum living with me. She treats me like a child and now has everyone thinking it's my doing and they hate me because of it.

OP posts:
Pumpkinpie1 · 20/02/2024 12:29

If it’s your names on the rent book/mortgage it’s your choice who lives there.
Dont act in anger. Let things cool down.
If your mum has been a good support in the past to you and your child , it makes sense to try and keep that relationship positive.
Personally I would get a lock on your bathroom door asap .
Talk to your mum about her moving out in the future. Explain you need your own space but appreciate her support over the years . Don’t get drawn into an argument or criticise her boyfriend.
Limit contact with your Brother & don’t react to his drama. Life’s too short.

Pumpkinpie1 · 20/02/2024 12:33

I would also give her a realistic timescale for her moving out OP ie 2 months. Be friendly but firm.
I would not accept being criticised in my own home - how did you find out about her boyfriend and brother?

Aquamarine1029 · 20/02/2024 12:36

Tell your mother it's time to go, and you're not asking. Your brother can have her. He'll be thrilled.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 20/02/2024 12:57

Tell your mum she has till end of March to move out or you'll need to take her to the council housing team.
Why can't she move in with your brother or her partner? Seems weird!

greengreengrass25 · 20/02/2024 12:59

I can't believe the bathroom thing

Do you not have a lock?

greengreengrass25 · 20/02/2024 13:00

How can you be the problem when it's your home OP

She seems more like a child

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