No longer feel attracted to my husband

[aheartshapedrose]

I don’t know how to put this across without sounding awful but I also feel I need to get this out because I don’t know what to do. I no longer feel attracted to my DH, I am 42 and he is 43, he doesn’t look after himself well, slightly overweight, drinks a fair amount which I feel has taken it’s toll on him and he just seems to care less about himself in general. I no longer feel attracted to him or sexually, it’s like a light has gone off and I can’t switch it back on. I am going through early menopause signs, so I’m not sure if this is contributing.
What do I do? It feels a lot to leave when we have an otherwise good marriage and primary aged children.

Talk to him about it, if it were the other way around you would want him to find a kind way to let you know.

It's difficult to give specific advice here. I'm pretty sure my wife has the same lack of desire for me, but for different reasons. We did nothing about that, and it has caused major problems.

It's difficult with young children, but could you prioritise time together, perhaps without alcohol or the expectation of sex? Do you enjoy spending time alone with him? You may then feel attracted to his mind rather than his body, and perhaps even begin to have a conversation about him looking after himself a bit better. I hope your husband is receptive: he's lucky to have someone who cares for him in this way.

I'm 100% certain physical intimacy is something couples should always work hard to maintain it. You're both still young. Good luck.

Discuss it with him. See if he feels the same about you? Or if there is things you can work on together